


Accidentally in love

by akane171



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: AU, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Humor, Mon-El is not a polite guy and says fuck a lot, a lot of bickering, mature content but nothing too graphic, road story, runnaway bride, screw slow burn, ships and characters will be added, the ANGST has come
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-26
Updated: 2018-11-21
Packaged: 2019-02-07 05:37:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 36,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12834435
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/akane171/pseuds/akane171
Summary: On the happiest day of her life, Kara Danvers decided that maybe she could make it a little happier. So she jumped out of the window.At the end of the shittiest month of his life, Mike Gand decided that things couldn’t get worse. Poor guy forgot that karma was a bitch and liked challenges.So, here they were, a runaway journalist and an irresponsible asshole with a golden heart – stuck in one car, on a long journey, trying to reach National City… without killing themselves.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> No beta, so have some mercy.

Alex Danvers sighed and neatened a non-existing wrinkle on her ugly as seven fucks, pink bridesmaid dress. Maggie, when she saw her wearing this cupcake-shit, almost died from laughter and then took a picture. Or ten, Alex wasn’t sure. What she knew was that Sawyer was not going to let her live with this for another month. Or a year. Or forever. 

“On our wedding, we are both wearing tuxes,” she growled under her breath and ignored one of very infamous aunt Alura’s death glares - she was used to them. Saying that Alex was not Alura's favorite niece was an understatement. The fact she was Alura’s only niece made things hilarious. 

She chuckled and grimaced because that fucking dress squeezed her boobs like lemons. This was a torture and she clearly was a masochist but well, she could sacrifice her boobs for few hours for her beloved cousin, right?

Her beloved cousin was calmly standing near the window, looking absolutely spectacular in her Vera Wang dress, perfect make up, perfect hair, holding perfect bouquet and wearing a perfect fake smile that deceived everyone, Alura included.

But not Alex. 

“Ok, we have ten minutes,” Alura clapped her hands. “We should go,” she said and left to take care of everything, without even looking at her daughter.

This wedding was going to be perfect or someone was going to die, murdered by Alura Danvers.

“I’m so happy, sweetheart,” Eliza kissed Kara’s forehead and followed her older sister. 

Alex approached and searched Kara’s face.

“Are you… sure about it?” she asked seriously. 

Kara blinked. “Me? Pff! Of course I am!” she waved her hand. “Best day of my life. Yep!”

A crinkle between her eyes was reminding Alex of The Great Canyon.

“Right,” Alex she said flatly and bit her lip. “You know… you know you don’t have to do it? If you are not sure.”

She knew it was pointless, because Kara Danvers was stubborn like a mule and when she (or her mother…) convinced herself to do something, there was no power in this universe to make her change her mind.

Even if she was probably making the biggest mistake of her life. 

“Alex,” Kara smiled gently, “I’m marrying the love of my life. He is… he is the perfect man. The maple syrup to my pancakes. I was waiting for it for two years. I’m just a little nervous, that’s it.”

The older cousin tried not to roll her eyes at the amount of cheese she was sensing. She swallowed everything what she wanted to say. That Kara didn’t need a perfect guy. That being with a perfect guy was the biggest problem here. That she should have call this whole wedding off.

But she just hugged Kara and looked at the clock.

“Well, you have five minutes,” she smiled crookedly and left the room.

Marriages were not something permanent, right? Divorces existed. Husbands could disappear… 

“Oh, hey Alex!” Eve’s cheerful voice made her jumped a little. She grimaced because of the sudden move her boobs almost fell out of her dress. “Can I enter? I’m looking for Miss Grant’s purse. I think she might have left it there.”

“Uhm,” Alex looked at the closed door. “Kara’s having her… moment, I’m not sure if…”

“I get it! Her last single moments, I guess Miss Grant will have to survive without her pepper spray and I need to hide,” Eve said cheerfully, grabbed Alex’s arm and lead her to where the wedding procession was standing.

Alex blinked, “Pepper spray?” she asked slowly. “Why in the world…”

“She said, she saw her ex-husband in the crowd and wanted to be prepared,” Eve smiled, like it was the most natural thing in the world.

At least it’s going to be fun, Alex thought.

*  
When the door shut behind Alex, Kara kept her fake smile plastered on her face. These days, she felt like she was wearing a mask that…

“Let’s not think about it,” she murmured, still smiling. 

She started pacing around the room like a lioness in a cage.

What the hell was wrong with her? She was marrying James Olsen. James, who was her crush since she has seen him at his first day at CatCo. He was handsome, had perfect body, his smile was producing a horde of butterflies in her stomach every time. He was a gentleman, treated her like princess and she had no idea how they ended together, because every time she opened her mouth she made an utter babbling idiot of herself. He won Pulitzer, was kind and smart and even her mother liked him. And, in contradiction to her previous boyfriends, he knew what clitoris was and had no problems with finding it. On the other hand, he didn’t really know what to do with it sometimes, but that was not the point!

Putting it simply, he was a living perfection and she’s dreamt of this moment since she laid her eyes on his handsome frame two years ago. So… So…

So why the hell she was shrieking inside of her head?

“Nerves. Just nerves,” she said, stopped in front of the open window and took a deep, calming breath… 

“That’s nice,” she said looking around. Roses on the lawn before the church were soo, sooo beautiful, so… pink and… flowery and … oh, look there was a bus stop there… not so far… she could take her shoes off and...

Wait, what? Why she was thinking about escaping her own wedding? 

She turned from the window quickly and accidentally hit the purse on the windowsill with her bouquet. It landed on the ground… among daisies. 

“Oops!... Oh… OH!” she gasped with horror when she recognized the familiar purse. “No, no, no, no!”

It belonged to Miss Grant. 

Without thinking, she took off her perfect shoes, tucked her perfect dress, sat on the windowsill and looked at the damned purse. 

In that moment her brain divided into two. 

One half was screaming what the hell she was doing, the second was yelling that her boss was going to murder her with cold blood, on her own freaking wedding, because of stupid purse. 

“Oh, shut the hell up, both of you,” she muttered and, not very gracefully, landed on the ground.

She was going to just pick it up, climb back and marry the love of her life. Piece of cake. 

But she grabbed the purse from the ground and looked at the poor daisies, squashed like pancakes. They were the same color as the napkins her mother chose at the wedding reception in the most famous restaurant in the city.

And then she hid her shoes into the purse and took a step forward.

“What the hell am I doing?” she asked nobody, “What the hell am I doing?” she said again a little hysterically, walking a little faster, “What the hell am I doing!?” she cried, tucking her dress and running like that red idiot from a popular tv show.

*  
Mike Gand stopped his car at the red light and grimaced. It was his fifth damned red light in the last 10 minutes. Normally, he would not mind breaking some rules, but well, it was not a good idea right now.

He sighed and looked into the rearview mirror. He tapped his fingers on steering wheel and opened his mouth, but before he could said a thing, shit hit the fan. Hard.

The door of his car was opened with some super force, a wave of white landed on a seat beside him and he was introduced to the view of the most streaking and bluest eyes he has seen in his life.

He blinked. The blue eyes blinked back.

“What are you waiting for?!” blue eyes shrieked when she took out a pepper spray from her purse. “Drive!” the pepper spray was shaking in her hands.

He slowly raised a brow.

“You are aiming it at yourself”, he said matter-of-factly. 

“Huh?”

He just glanced at the spray in her hands. The girl gasped, because indeed, she was aiming the shit at her face. She clumsily pointed the spray at him, this time correctly.

“Drive!”

He just stared at her and a second before he kindly sent her to hell, he was interrupted:

“Mon?” a tiny voice of his niece reached him from behind. He quickly glanced above his shoulder, where she was sitting, with a confused but interested look on her face, “Why a crazy bride is sitting in our car?” 

He looked at the girl who was staring at his niece, opening and closing her mouth, looking like a fish with too much make up on her face.

He sighed and switched the gears when the lights turned green.

“No idea, Bug,” he said honestly.

But it’s going to be fun, he thought sarcastically.

Poor guy had no fucking idea.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, big thanks to my beautiful, amazing, one and only beta - yeratimelord_katniss. 
> 
> Secondly, awww guys. In the last chap I wrote "PAPER spray" instead of good ol' "pepper spray" and no one made fun of me. You are all too kind ;)
> 
> Lastly, because we get TOO much angst these days *glares at the SG writers* *glares at the Karamel writers* a very dumb and funny chap for you. ENJOY.

Michael Gand, Mon-El for friends, was amused. For the last 10 minutes, he was listening to a combination of a very interesting mantra made of _fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck_ mixed with _OhGodOhGodOhGodOhGodOhGod_ , hysterical laughing, occasional sobbing and a hiccup.

Music to his ears, really. But unfortunately, nothing lasts forever. Besides, he was not a goddamned UBER driver.

He stopped his car and looked at the wedding disaster. She was curled on the seat, with her face hidden in her hands, shoulders trembling and a hairstyle that reminded him of a scarecrow struck by a lightning.

He coughed to get her attention, but she was in the middle of another chant of fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck, so she didn’t hear him. Mon-El rolled his eyes and poked her shoulder with his finger She slowly raised her head and looked at him, blinking.

With ruined makeup and snot all over her face, she looked like a panda that was suffering from a mental break down because someone ate her last piece of bamboo.

She sniffed loudly.

Very slowly, not wanting to scare her, he reached out to glove compartment, opened it, took out some tissues and gave them to her.

Panda hesitantly took them and thanked him in a small voice.

For a second he felt a pang of guilt. He only gave her the tissues because he was afraid she was going to spread snot all over his beloved car, but then she blew her nose, loudly… and all the unwanted feelings disappeared in the thin air.

Thank God, because he was not used to them.

When she finished and looked at him hesitantly, he smiled and pointed something outside.

“There’s telephone booth,” he said, “there’s a cab stand,” he pointed different direction, “and there’s a coffee shop.”

Panda looked at him dumbly and blinked.

“It was nice to meet you. Have a nice day,” he smiled and looked suggestively at the door but she didn’t get his intentions.

“You can call the loser who wanted to marry you or someone else, who can come here and take your ass wherever you want. Or pay for a cab, or go to the coffee shop to, uhm, calm your nerves and make yourself pretty again.” Though, he doubted she could make herself look that pretty. He would rather not think about what this amount of makeup was covering.

Still, Panda didn’t move, just stared at him with her big, amazing eyes.

Mon-El sighed, reached out again and opened the door on her side.

“Bye,” he smiled charmingly and waited.

And waited.

And waited.

But the girl was still sitting in her seat, clutching to it, like to a lifeline.

“Look, miss,” he sighed, “we're on a tight schedule, We have to get to National City in two weeks and we are already late,” he ignored her little gasp, “and you are ruining our plan, so it would be nice, if you could kindly get your pretty ass out of _my_ car,” Mon-El said cheerfully. “Have a nice life,” he added.

Not need to be rude, right?

“No.”

He raised a brow, a little surprised at the clean and strong tone of her voice.

“Excuse me?”

“No,” she repeated. “You can’t… you can’t leave me here?” Panda asked hesitantly.

“Wanna bet?” Mon-el asked flatly but right after the last “t” left his mouth, he had the fucking pepper spray inches from his face.

_You've got to be kidding him._

*

Kara had no freaking idea who possessed her, but the bitch was not there anymore and left her behind with a royally screwed up life.

She was a nice, well behaved, obedient, perfect girl. The ideal personification of the American way. Running away from her own wedding? Not her. Entering stranger’s car without permission? Not her. Assaulting a guy with a pepper spray? Not her. Kidnapping him and a little girl? DEFINITELY not her!

Yet, here she was, sitting in this poor guy’s car, aiming Miss Grant’s pepper spray at his face because she heard one stupid name.

 _National City_.

They were heading to her city. As crazy as it seemed to be, they could take her with them. Also, he did say their trip was going to take two weeks, right? Maybe in two weeks, the whole shit storm that was probably happening in the church right now was going to calm down. Maybe after two weeks, her mother was going to calm down enough to only murder her, with no torturing needed. Besides, thinking about facing James right now made her stomach squeezed to the size of a ping-pong ball.

So, without thinking how incredibly dumb this whole idea was, she took her spray and aimed it, this time like a pro, at his face. Every brain cell in her skull was screaming this was a freaking idiotic idea, and she should just get out and call Alex, but she was on a verge of hysteria and she just didn’t care.

“I...I want you to take me to National City,” she blurted out.

The guy looked at her like she was crazy, probably because she was in that moment, and smiled.

“With pleasure.”

Kara blinked. “Seriously?”

“Of course not.” He sounded annoyed for the first time. “Get out.”

“No!” she cried, panicked. “I can’t! I…! I…! I have the pepper spray!”

“And you are going to aim it at me for the next two weeks?” he asked and smiled.

Kara opened her mouth, but no sound came out. Well, shit. He had a good point.

Before she could answer, he snatched the pepper spray from her hands - she could swear he’d done that with some inhuman speed - and threw it through the window. Seconds later it was squashed by a truck, and- the small explosion caused by the pressured gases in the can damaged a tire. The truck rocked dangerously and stopped on the side of the road, not so far from them.

She watched it open-mouthed and then looked at the guy who's car she'd hijacked, who was smiling and relaxed, like he didn’t almost cause a car crash.  
“If you don’t have another weapon in that purse, like raspberries, then you seriously need to go,” he smiled broadly.  
  
“Raspberries?” she asked slowly with a nasty impression that maybe she was not the only crazy one in the car.

He rolled his eyes, “Seriously? Why don't people know classic Monty Python?”

“He’s allergic to raspberries,” the tiny girl that was totally forgotten by Kara said suddenly.

She was playing with an old and very ugly stuffed rabbit, that looked like it went through both World Wars, emigrated from Russia to America and produced an army of children. Seriously, the ugliest stuffed animal she’s seen in her life.

“Bug,” the guy said and massage his forehead, “Hush-hush, maybe?”

“It’s true,” she shrugged her shoulders, sounding more like an old, experienced woman, than a little girl.

“Oh…uhm, you have, interesting rabbit there,” Kara couldn’t help herself.

“Thanks. His name is Mr. Fugly,” the kid said seriously.

Kara’s brain stopped for a moment.

“Fugly? But that means -”

“FANTASTICALLY UGLY and that’s not the point of this conversation!” the guy interrupted, “Miss, can you leave my car? Or do I seriously have to drag you out?”

_No, no, no, no, no, no!_

“I…! I will pay you!” Kara yelled the first fantastic idea that erupted in her brain.

The problem was, it was _not_ a great idea.

The guy chuckled, “Pay me? With what exactly?”

Ugh. Good point. There was no wallet in the purse and she would have never, ever used Miss Grant’s stuff. Well, barring the pepper spray, obviously.

“Also, I don’t need money, so please, for the love of God, just leave and -”

“You’re broke,” the tiny voice of the girl interrupted him again.

Kara blinked. For the first time, the guy looked frustrated.

“I am not!”

“You said that to your lawyer yesterday.”

His mouth fell wide open, “You were eavesdropping my conversation?!”

“No. But you were yelling at the phone, so...” she shrugged again, tugging Mr. Fugly’s ears.

“That’s not the point,” he coughed after a few seconds of awkward silence, “Besides, she has no money, so -”

“There’s a big pawnshop,” the little girl pointed a building not so far from them.

“And?” the guy looked confused.

“She’s wearing Vera Wang, duh,” she rolled her eyes. “What?” she asked when both of the adults, who weren't acting very adult-like in the last few minutes, stared at her weirdly, “I like Say Yes To The Dress.”

And then something clicked in Kara’s head. Her wedding dress! Her wedding dress that cost A LOT of money! One of the most famous and exclusive models that brides were willing to kill for! The dress that she bought only because her mother had good contacts!

“I’ll pay you 1000$,” she blurted out.

The guy who was watching the little girl like a hawk, looked at her confused. “What? Miss, that’s-”

“1.500,” she didn’t let him finish.

“That’s not -”

“2000,” she said with a small voice, praying she was going to get that much.

The guy looked at her like she was crazy.“2000? Are you mad?”

“Yes,” she answered, trying to sound like she wasn't about to cry.

The guy tilted his head and looked at her with squinted eyes. After 30 seconds that felt like forever:

“Deal.” he said and drew his hand.

Kara looked at it, at his eyes, at his hand and then at his lips, lips that were almost smiling.

“Well, if you don’t want it-” He withdrew his hand back.

“NO!” Kara yelped and grabbed his hand, squeezing it strongly, “I mean yes! YES! Deal!” She kept shaking it like crazy, but then a disturbing thought knocked to her skull. “Uhm, do you have a spare shirt?”

*

“I don’t like it,” Mon-El said 10 minutes later, leaning on his car, with legs crossed and hands tugged deep into his pockets, watching that truck driver yelling at his phone and kicking the flat tire.

His right hand was hurting like hell after all the squeezing the girl subjected it to. Who the hell was she, anyway? Freaking Supergirl?

“We need some money,” Tammy was sitting on the bonnet and playing with that stupid rabbit.

“I’m not that broke,” he rolled his eyes and winced as the car rocked harshly.

Panda was changing clothes in his beloved baby and he was afraid to even think about all the damage she was going to cause.

“How the hell did a naked runaway bride end up in my car?” he asked rhetorically, looking at the truck driver who was trying to change the tire. Mon-el could hear some of his loud curses and, wow, were they original.

“She isn't naked, she still has her bra on,” Tammy said matter-of-factly, looking over her shoulder.

“Bug! It’s not nice to peep on people when they're changing their clothes!” he growled, trying erased the fantasy of the almost naked Panda from his fucked up brain.

Okay, he hadn't had sex for, well, for the last few months, but he was not that horny or desperate to have inappropriate thoughts about runaway Pandas. Seriously.

After few more minutes, the door opened.

“Finally,” he rolled his eyes and turned to face her, “how long-” And then he promptly forgot how to articulate.

He felt cheated. Panda didn’t look like Panda anymore!

She probably had some makeup removal in her purse, because her face was clean and fresh. Her hair was up, tied into a messy bun. And of course, the shirt she chose was his favorite plaid, one that was currently hanging a few inches over her knees and looked like some kind of a dress. He also noticed she stole his belt. And tugged sleeves of the shirt and- damn.

She didn’t look bad.

Being honest, she looked quite cute.

“How long, what?” she asked and took out… a pair of high heels from her purse.

What the hell was that? A portal to another dimension? Women and their scary purses.

“Not important,” he said trying hard not to ogle her legs as she took her wedding dress out of the back seat. Well, mission failed.

“Uhm, so I’ll be back in a half an hour. I hope.” She smiled weakly and headed in the direction of the pawnshop.

“You're staring at her ass,” Tammy said flatly.

“Guilty as charged,” Mon-El sighed. “Language,” he added after a second because that was not a word a little girl should use. Right?

Right. He had no fucking idea. He was new to this parenting business, after all. He grimaced. He really missed his old irresponsible and carefree life sometimes.

“You know, we can just drive away and leave her behind,” he said, trying to change the unpleasant path of thoughts.

“She left her purse in our car, that would be stealing, right? Stealing is bad.”

Mon-El glanced at his niece, getting a nasty impression that she was… manipulating him. But she was eight years old, for fuck’s sake. Eight-year-old girls didn’t know how to manipulate people! Right? And stealing was bad, after all.

“We could leave it on the pavement?” he tried for the last time.

“I like her, she’s funny,” Tammy said simply, without looking at him, all her attention focused on the freaking rabbit in her lap.

She looked so goddamned tiny and fragile, like the first time he saw her.

His heart clenched painfully. If Panda That Didn't Look Like A Panda Anymore made his niece less depressed even for a moment, then he was going to fucking stand her as long as needed. If not, he could always kick her out of his car in the middle of a bamboo forest.

He cleared his throat, “Well, what do you say about eating some ice-cream while waiting for Pa… the lady?”

Tammy wrinkled her nose, “I don’t want ice-cream, I want a chicken soup.”

Mon-El looked at her with furrowed brows. Chicken soup? Was it normal for kids to prefer soup over ice-cream? Whatever.

“Okay, chicken soup it is,” he sighed, took her down from the hood and checked his phone. “Well, there's got to be a restaurant somewhere near here... Yep, this way.”

They passed the truck driver who was trying and failing to change the tire.

“Bad luck, huh?” Mon-El asked kindly.

“You have no f - ” the guy started, but stopped when he saw Tammy, “-reaking idea,” he finished and wiped sweat from his forehead. “I hope that the f...reaking person who left that spray in the middle of the road is having a really bad day.”

“Hopefully,” Mon-El said cheerfully.

“Mon, wasn’t that you?” Tammy whispered after few steps when the truck driver couldn’t hear them.

“Hush, hush, Bug.”

*

Alex stood on the pavement with hands on her waist and furrowed brows. This was the place where the tracks ended. Near the traffic lights. Hmm.

The shit hit the fan after 5 minutes of Kara being late. Alura entered the room without knocking and got the shock of her life when she found the room empty. For the next 15 minutes, all friends and family members were running around like headless chickens, searching for the missing bride.

They found nothing, only Lena and Jack making out in a vestry.

But no Kara.

The family, some friends, and James gathered in the room for a crisis meeting. After one minute of looking at Alura’s armageddon face, Lucy doing her best to calm down James who was freaking out and hearing bunch of dumb ideas, Alex evacuated her ass and checked the most obvious option, which led her here.

“So, what do you think?” Maggie appeared at her side, looking smoking hot in her tux.  
“I’ll be damned, but I think my perfect little cousin ran away.” Alex chuckled.

Maggie clicked her tongue.

“What?” Alex asked.

“Well, it does look like that, but I don’t think James is going to believe his perfect little bride ran away from him and, well, Cat Grant made a lot of phone calls and looked like Christmas came early this year, and then she left the church with her ex-husband… ”

Alex turned white and said the only word that fit the situation:

“Fuck!”

*

  
“Deal!” Kara smiled at a blonde pawnbroker, who just bought her dress and looked like he made the best deal in his career. It was probably true, but Kara didn’t mind. She got enough to pay the guy and survive the next two weeks.

“Have a nice da-“ she didn’t finish, because her eyes landed on a tv set hanging on the wall in front of her.

Some popular gossip program was being broadcasted. She gasped with horror when she saw information on the ticker:

_Breaking News! Cat Grant, the queen of media, claims that Kara Danvers - America's sweetest journalist and Cat Grant's employee - was kidnapped from her own wedding!_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mon talked about Monty Python's: Self Defence Against Fresh Fruit - search for it on youtube because it's hilarious.
> 
> Kisses, hugs and unicorns for all kind souls that commented and left kudos. 
> 
> THANKS FOR READING!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In chap 3: Kara experiences some religious ecstasy, Mon-el establishes a four man country, Bug eats her pancakes and Mr Fugly… exists. And then shit hits the fan. Again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to quote my wonderful beta yeratimelord_katniss, after she read the first few sentences of this chap: OH MY GOD I HATE YOU SO MUCH.
> 
> Enjoy :)))

Mon-el loved Imra. She was the love of his life. She kept him sane during his darkest moments. She was beautiful and perfect. She was never jealous. She never complained about his irresponsible life. She never commented about his drunken nights with his friends. She never judged him.

He loved her every piece, from the exhaust pipe to the front lights. But the thing he loved the most about her was the sound of her illegally modified engine.

Too bad he couldn’t enjoy it now, because it was jammed by Panda’s LOUDLY rumbling stomach.

She came back right after them, wearing big-ass hat and sunglasses that covered half her face. Without a word she handed him the money and sank into her seat, hiding behind her purse.

Mon-el could ask what the hell was going on, but he was pretty sure he would not like her answer. So he kept his cake hole shut.

They drove for few hours in perfect silence, untill Panda’s stomach started to sound like a roaring lion.

It was driving Mon-el crazy.

When he spotted a restaurant on the side of the road he turned right without thinking and stopped his car in front of The Pancake Heaven.

“We’re going to eat,” he announced and unbuckled the belt.

“Uhm… I’m going to wait for you,” Panda said and adjusted her glasses, looking around. She was sitting so low she was basically lying in the seat.

Weird.

“No, you’re going with us. I’m not leaving a stranger in my car.”

“But I’m not hungry,” she said with a crinkle between her eyes. Almost immediately after, her stomach grumbled.

“Right. And I’m the Crown Prince of Daxam. Move.”

“No!”

Mon-el sighed, “Are we going to have conversations like this every damned time for the next two weeks?”

“I paid you, so I think I should have a voice. Stop being a tyrant!”

Tyrant? Mon-el raised a brow and glanced at Tammy, who was listening to them.

“So, you want a more… democratic approach?” he asked innocently. Didn’t she know democracy was a bitch?

“Yes!”

“Ok, who votes for Miss Runaway Bride staying in the car?” he asked.

Panda raised her hand but then blinked. “Wait a minute!”

“Who votes for all of us going to eat?” he asked and raised his hand.Tammy raised her and Mr. Fugly’s hands. “Great, you’re outvoted! Welcome in the Democratic Republic of Imra.” He smiled and got off.

Mon-el rounded the car and opened the passenger’s door. He chuckled, because Panda was still keeping her hand raised and mouth was wide open.

“Do you need an invitation or do I have to carry you there?”

“You wouldn’t dare!”

Mon-el grinned.

*

_Of course the freaking asshole dared!_

One second she was sitting in the car, the second she was hanging on his shoulder. He entered the restaurant with her as some trophy princess, like it was the most natural thing to do. While he was deciding between pancakes with cottage cheese or with peanut butter with her still on his shoulder, she was tugging her hat as much as she could and trying not to listen to the amusing whisperings of the other customers.

Who the hell was this guy? Huh?! He had no shame! And… was he flirting with the salesgirl?! With her ass hanging right next to his face? Oh God! This was unbelievable!

But then he finally ordered food and found a free booth. When he put her down she sat in the corner and hid behind a menu.

It was the most embarrassing moment of her life. That horrible day in kindergarten when she peed in her pants? And her mother being super angry, because she had to pick her up? And the kids calling her Smelly Kara for the next year? It was not so bad anymore.

“Are you going to sit with your hat and glasses all the time?” he asked suddenly.

She ignored him.

“What a rude thing to do.”

She ignored him.

“You’re holding menu upside-down.”

“Huh?” she jerked out and looked at the card… that she was holding correctly.

“Oh, so you’re listening after all.” She heard his smug voice and threw him a murderous glare.

_Asshole!_

But all unpleasant thoughts and maybe a plan (or two) of murdering him with rage abandoned her when the waitress put down in front of her a plate full of pancakes that were drowning in whipped cream, ice cream, fruits and caramel sauce. There was also a sweet, little, pink umbrella stuck in the middle. Kids’ meal, seriously?

She raised her head and glared at him accusingly.

“Whaff?” he asked, mouth full food. “It looked like something you would enjoy.”

“Because, what? You guessed I have a sweet tooth?”

“No, because you act like a five year old.” He smiled smugly.

_Jerk._

“She got pancakes with spinach and broccoli,” Kara pointed the little girl, who was calmly eating her portion.

“Well, true, but she’s eight - not five,” he smiled again, like it was the best joke in the world.

_Butthole._

“Your ice cream is melting,” he said matter-of-factly.

“I’m not -”

“Hungry,” he finished and looked meaningfully at the ceiling when her traitorous stomach rumbled like a tractor.

Kara looked at her plate. It looked… delicious. Vanilla ice cream. And pieces of peaches, bananas and kiwis… And whipped cream. And caramel.

Everything what she loved.

The Lord was testing her, obviously.

“I’m on a diet...”

The Lord was testing her and Satan was sitting in front of her.

“Diet?” the guy furrowed his brows and stared at her. “But you’re light as a feather.”

Kara blinked. Was that a… compliment?

“You’re allergic or something?”

“What? No. I just… needed… to fit my wedding dress,” she swallowed hard and looked how the peaches were sinking in the cream.

“Friendly reminder that you sold your wedding dress,” he said happily.

“Shut up,” she answered weakly.

Ugh, where the last time she ate pancakes? Or ice cream? Months ago? The Draconian diet her mother forced… _erm, encouraged, she encouraged her to be on a diet_ , was very strict. And…

Was the jerk trying to reach her plate and steal the small lonely piece of kiwi that was lying on the edge?

Not on her watch, Satan!

Kara snatched her plate out of his reach, grabbed her fork and put a piece of pancake into her mouth, glaring at the smirking guy.

_Sadistic prickhead!_

But then the food melted in her mouth and she landed in heaven.

*

The sounds she was emitting were… orgiamistic. She’d finished her meal, when he was not even done with a half of his, stuffing food in her mouth like a hamster. With whipped cream smeared all over her face and an angelic smile, she looked super cute.

And still super hungry. She was looking at her plate like she wanted to lick it.

Why the hell were women torturing themselves, especially ones as fit and tiny as Panda, with shit diets was beyond him.

Without a second thought Mon-el took his last pancake and put in on her plate. She blinked at opened her mouth to say she was not hungry, of course.

“Just eat it. I’m not _hungry_ ,” he smiled a little, when without complaining this time, she dug into her new addition on her plate.

He glanced at Bug, who followed Panda’s example and was eating her food too. Not pretending, like she often did. Good.

Speaking of nicknames.

“What’s your name?” he asked.

Panda stopped chewing, with cheeks puffed. She looked like a hamster, seriously.

“Name?” she asked when she swallowed hard.

“Well, it’s kind of annoying to call you... Runaway Bride all the time. It’s kind of... long.”

“It’s Kara,” she said hesitantly and then bit her lip.

He raised a brow. “Kara...?” and waited for the last name.

“ _Just_ Kara,” she adjusted her glasses and… the crinkle was back. Interesting.

“Ok, _Just_ Kara, you already know Mr Fugly, this is Tammy and I’m _Just_ Mike.”

If she didn’t want to share her last name, so he didn’t have too. Good. Some people, when they heard Gand, liked to make really annoying assumptions about him.

“Mike. It’s short for Michael?” she asked and he froze for a second.

He knew it was an innocent question and she didn’t mean shit. Too bad it brought back memories he would rather forgotten.

And oh boy, one stupid name and it affected him so much. He just had to grimace.

He was too old for this shit, goddamnit.

Kara gasped a little when she saw the grim expression on his face.

“I’m so-”

“It’s short for _Microphone_ ,” he didn’t let her finish. “For obvious reasons, I prefer Mike,” she didn’t say a thing, just nodded her head hesitantly. “Bug? I need to make a call, I’ll wait outside, ok?” He ruffled her hair and left the restaurant.

Michael. Only his parents were using his full name. His mother usually when she was disappointed because of him, so basically she was using it all the fucking time.

He leaned on his car and took a calming breath. Then he shook his head and took out phone from the pocket of his jeans.

He sighed and braced himself to face harsh reality.

56 missed calls. 10 from the idiot aka his best friend. 6 from the witch aka his second best friend. And 40 from the bitch aka the bitch.

Yep, muting his phone was a good idea.

And then, almost immediately, the bitch’s name appeared on the screen. He happily rejected her call and dialed another number.

“Are you dead?” was the first thing he heard from his so called best friend.

“No,” he grinned, his mood improved in a second.

“Good, because when she puts her hands on you, she’s going to skin you alive and send your soul to another dimension. Forever.” Stefan informed him grimly.

“Why oh so dramatic, Stephanie?”

“Hmm, I don’t know? Maybe because I’m forced to listen what she is going to do with your ass, in colorful details, for the past few days?” Stefan hummed.

Mon-el laughed. He could imagine.

“By the way, guess who called me.”

“You’re kidding,” this time Mon-el groaned.

“Nope. She really, really wants to know when you’ll be back.”

“What did you tell her?” he sighed.

“That you emigrated to Alaska to breed penguins,” Mon-el imagined Stefan rolling his eyes, “And you know what? I think she believed me for a moment. Mon, your taste in women is incredibly shitty.“

“Should I remind you that your ex-fiance is banging your older brother now?”

“Rude,” Stefan didn’t sound affected. “Changing the subject… are you ok?”

Mon-el sighed and swallowed hard. “No,” he said simply after few painful seconds.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not really.”

“Ok, how’s the kid?”

“Most of the time better than me, but sometimes not. You know...” he said and shrugged his shoulders.

“Well, you are going to spend two weeks with her, only the two of you, it’s going to get better.”

Mon-el scratched his chin, “About that...” he said and recapped his meeting with Panda… well, Kara.

When he finished there was silence.

“Stef? You’re still there?”

“You want to tell me you kidnapped a bride, to make her a babbysitter for your niece, so you can go outside in the evenings to bang chicks in bars? I didn’t know you were so desperate, man.”

Mon-el choked on the air he was breathing. “WHAT?! How the fuck did you come to that conclusion?!”

“I know you and your perverted mind, duh.” Stefan clicked his tongue.

“First of all, SHE kidnapped ME,” Mon-el hissed, “Secondly…”

But then he stopped.

Because as crazy as it sounded… Stefan was right. Kara could be the babysitter. When Bug went to sleep, he could leave her with a responsible young woman (well, he hoped Kara was one), so he could go outside to blow off some steam, like the irresponsible asshole he was.

“Exactly,” Stefan said satisfied. “But wait, how did you call her? Wasn’t it...? No way!”

And he started laughing. A little madly.

“Want to explain what’s so bloody funny?” Mon-el asked when the chucklings turned into a hiccup.

“You have no idea? Seriously?”

“About what?” he snapped annoyed.

There was silence for few seconds.

“That you’re screwed?” Stefan said finally. “And that Kara is… uhm, the most popular nickname in porn movies these days? Yay for you?”

“You’re lying.”

“Yeah, well, whatever. I need to end this call and laugh my ass off. Call the witch, jerk,” he chuckled and ended the call.

Mon-el stared at his cell trying to remember why and when they became friends. It was around the time when they both got drunk, stole Damon’s car and threw up all over it, probably.

The bitch’s name appeared on the screen again and he happily rejected the call again. Then he dialed another number. When he heard the click he, very wisely, put the cell away, as far as his arm allowed.

Still he could clearly hear screaming and quite an imaginative list of tortures she prepared for him.

When she finally finished and all he could hear was angry huffs, Mon-el grinned and put his phone to his ear.

“Missed you too, Bennett.”

*

When the little girl finished her meal, she jumped off from her chair and walked away without a word or a glance back. Like it was the most natural thing to do. Kara decided that the asshole and the kid had a lot in common.

In contradiction, she tugged her hat down, adjusted her glasses and tried to sneak out, without getting attention. Mission failed. People were giggling and staring at her, she swore someone took a picture. Ugh.

When she got outside the asshole was leaning on his car, talking on a phone and laughing like an idiot.

Not that she paid much attention, but for the first time he looked genuinely happy and a little boyish, younger than she thought, around her age. Not so sharp and perspective, like he could see through her and read her like an open book, with his stormy grey eyes…

Wait, stormy eyes? Where did that come from?! Grey like… like concrete! Or an elephant’s ass! That’s it!

The moment she thought that, he caught her staring at him. He raised his stupid brow. She felt her neck turn red.

Kara approached the car stiffly and opened the door. She heard him saying something about pandas. Ugh, she needed a moment for herself.

She grabbed “not her purse”, waved her hand awkwardly in front of the jerk and murmured she was going for a quick walk.

Her high heels were killing her. She would love to take them off, but people were around and she seriously didn’t need more attention. Ugh. She should have bought the other pair she liked. But her mother said it didn’t match her dress.

And when he mother said something didn’t match, it didn’t match.

She looked over her shoulder but the asshole was still talking, probably describing her in detail to his lover, girlfriend, wife, husband, whatever.

Speaking of telephones… she just spotted a booth.

Kara sighed and entered it. She opened the purse and started to dig in it.

She found: her massacred wedding bouquet (She didn’t remember jamming it there? She just took it out and put it on the top of the phone), 25 pens, a cheap romance novel (Miss Grant and book like this? huh?), tissues, mints (strong), super expensive makeup kit, hairbrush, a mirror, a half eaten bar of chocolate, receipts (she could make a small bonfire from it), 3 notebooks, a... hunting knife? (no comments...), a package of condoms (NO COMMENTS) and some cute, pink, funny looking gel...wait… OH GOD!

She sobbed with relief when she finally found some change.

*

Alex cursed under her breath, shit was getting ridiculous.

They gathered in James’ parents house trying to do something.

That “something” was sitting in the living room, sipping tea (parents and old folk) or alcohol (the young generation) and hiding from paparazzi that gathered around the house like a flock of vultures.

When James called police and tried to report kidnapping, the policeman who took the call laughed so hard Alex could hear him from the other room. Then he asked if people weren’t watching romantic comedies these days.

Very fucking funny.

Saying James didn’t look too good was a mercy. It was the first time Alex felt really sorry for him.

He was sitting in his rumpled tux, face hidden in his hands, with Lucy at his side, talking to him with a hushed, calming voice. Near them Cat Grant was standing.

Alex had no idea why was she even there, because shit hit the media fan because of her. But, well, people there were too afraid to kick her out. And she could probably even scare the paparazzis away.

And then her phone vibrated. Seeing an unknown number, Alex just knew.

She looked around, sneakily left the room and entered an empty kitchen.

“Where the hell are you?!” Alex hissed when she answered her phone.

“I don’t know,” Kara said and the older cousin felt the tension finally leaving her body.

She was sure Kara was not kidnapped but it didn’t stop her from worrying. It was Kara after all.

“Are you ok?” she sighed.

“Uhm, yeah, I’m fine… I just ran away from my wedding and -” Kara started to laugh. Hysterically.

“I just wish you had been here,” Kara said, when she finally calmed down.

“I know,” Alex swallowed hard, her “Big Protective Sister” mode activating. “Where are you? I’ll pick you up, I just need to avoid paparazzi.”

“Paparazzi?” Kara asked weakly. “Do they really think I was -”

“Don’t worry about it now. Where are you?”

“Alex, I’m fine. I… I’m going to be back in National City in two weeks.”

Alex blinked, “Wait, what? Kara, that’s ridiculous -”

But then a voice interrupted her:

“Hey, Just Kara, are you coming or should I leave you here?”

Alex froze.

“I’m coming! Alex, I need to go, I’ll call you later…. Don’t tell anyone I called, ok?”

“Kara, are you with a MAN?! What the hell?!”

“Bye, Alex!” And she ended the call.

Alex stared at her cell. Did her sweet, adorable, innocent, pure cousin… run away from her wedding… with a man?

“I’ll be damned,” she said at loud.

“Me too.”

Alex slowly turned to face the one and only Cat Grant.

Who was smiling like a cheshire cat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, who wanted to kill me after reading the first few sentences? :D
> 
> Thank you, thank you, thank you for the all kind words - they mean a lot and make me want to write faster. All want to say to you is: ASDFGHGFDSAASDFGHJHGF!!!!! *pterodactyl screech*. I love you all <3
> 
> Also, I put Stefan and Bonnie here, because I needed Mon's friends and no one from the show fits (Winn is out for the picture for now) and I'm too lazy to create two more OCs. So, sorry?
> 
> Hope you liked it!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which, things get very physical.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I just wanted to say that my dear beta still hates me :)
> 
> Also, I am the only one who finds it funny that every time Mon drives his car, he is INSIDE of Imra? :)))))
> 
> Enjoy!

When Mon-El finally stopped his car in front of a motel, it was the middle of the night.

Renting a room was not a problem. Taking sleeping Bug and placing her gently on one of the two beds was not a problem.

The problem was Panda.

When he stopped to tank his car, she excused herself and basically ran into the store. When she came back, her purse looked much heavier and something was making clicking sounds inside of it.

Panda bought cherry flavored vodka and was sneakily drinking it during the ride.

He didn’t judge. He would happily get wasted too.

But now she was sleeping deeply, leaning on the door and softly snoring from time to time. Yes, she was snoring.

He sighed and tapped lightly the window. No response. He tapped louder. No response. He knocked. She just snored.

What kind of a woman she was, Mon-El didn’t know, but she was not his type for sure.

On the other hand, she was probably a tigress in the bed.

_Wait… where that did come from?_

Annoyed, he opened the door and…

She fell out and landed on the asphalt, straight on her back.

“Ow, ow, ow!” she moaned, holding the back of her head.

Yep, definitely not his type.

“Are you ok?” Mon-El sighed tiredly.

She stopped moaning and looked at him with squeezed eyes.

“Who are you?” she sounded disoriented and sleepy. “Why it’s so dark?”

“It’s night,” he rolled his eyes and helped her get up. She wobbled on her legs and landed in his arms.

She blinked and focused her blue eyes on his face. Mon-El, caught like a deer by her super blue eyes, felt her cherry-smelling, hot breath on his face.

“Hi,” she said.

“Uhm, hi?”

She smiled drunkenly, hiccuped and put her super cold hands on his cheeks.

“Who the hell are you?” Kara asked cheerfully and Mon-el sighed.

“Mike,” sighed Mon-El, “your driver.”

She blinked, confused, but then beamed at him.

“The asshole!” Panda exclaimed.

Well, it was good to know she had a nickname for him too.

“Good,” she put her forehead with on his shoulder, with such force he was probably going to have a bruise tomorrow. And then-

-she fell asleep.

“You’re fucking kidding me,” Mon-El groaned as she snored.

“You are not-” he massaged his forehead, sighed and scoped her into his arms. “Just don’t get used to it,” he growled and headed to their room.

“Do I look like your freaking groom, woman?” he growled and tried to open the doors.

“Nope... you’re not bald,” she mumbled sleepily.

Mon-El blinked surprised. Bald? She was going to marry some old, bald guy? _Wow, she doesn’t look like a gold digger_ , he thought, while opening the door and... hitting her head on the doorway. Accidentally. Of course.

“Ow!”

“Oops, sorry!” he hoped she wasn’t going to remember that in the morning.

“You found the door… with my forehead!” She started laughing. “I’m floooooooating, hee hee.”

He decided to not comment. He just put her on the second bed. She rolled over, hugged the pillow and immediately fell asleep.

Mon-El shook his head. At least while drunk she was not crying and throwing up all over herself like the bitch.

For a second he thought maybe he should have taken off her high heels, but he was the asshole, not the nice guy.

He checked on Tammy, who was sleeping and hugging that fucking rabbit. The tiny responsible part of him was telling him she should have brushed her teeth and changed into pyjamas, but he ignored it and let her sleep.

And then the sad realization hit him. Both beds were occupied.

He was left with a couch.

“Fuck.”

*

“And now, you may kiss the bride!” the priest said.

He turned to his bride and lifted the thick, white veil and uncovered…

_The bitch._

“Not again,” he growled and tugged the veil down. Then he lifted it again, revealing a young, beautiful woman that was... very familiar in a weird way.

Then it hit him.

“Imra?!” he was not marrying his fucking car!

He tugged it down and lifted again.

This time revealing Bucky Barnes with black paint all over his face looking like…

He tugged the veil down harshly and gulped, because he knew who he was going to reveal this time.

He lifted the veil and he saw… a panda.

No, not THE Panda. But a panda, you know, the bamboo loving animal, who was chewing her wedding bouquet…. and now was leaning to kiss him.

*

Mon-El opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling.

His dreams were getting weirder, he thought listening to Kara’s snoring. At least she sounded like a human, not an animal. Wait. Could pandas snore? Whatever.

He wanted to lift his hand and massage his throbbing forehead but he couldn’t.

Tammy was plastered to his side. Her face hidden behind her dark locks, her tiny hand clutching the front of his t-shirt, like she was afraid he was going to disappear. For the last few weeks, no matter where they were sleeping, on some point of the night, she would appear at his side. And she was always gone in the morning. He wasn’t even sure she was aware of her night trips. He’s never asked.

Mon-El sighed and slowly, trying to not disturb her sleep, moved to make more place for her. Seriously, the kid was hanging on the edge. He put his arm around her protectively and tugged a blanket around her, trying to convince himself that everything was going to be alright.

With that thought he fell asleep again.

*  
_Mon-El was aware his parents didn’t really want him. Well, at least his mother didn’t. His father simply didn’t care. You know things like that, even when you are a 5 year old._

_It upset him, because he tried to be a good son. He tried really, really hard, but it didn’t work. No matter what he did, it seemed to only irritate them more._

_But one day they they were going to love him. For sure._

_And well, life was not that bad. He had Mr. Fugly (which only two people knew was his name, he was Mr. Rabbit for the rest), his grumpy grandad (only on vacations) and his older brother._

_His older brother who was the best person in the world. Who read to him before bed. Who didn’t mind that 6 year old kid was following him everywhere like a lost puppy. Who defended him from their mother’s harsh punishments when Mon-El did something wrong (and it happened a lot). Who allowed him to sleep with him when Mon-El had nightmares. Who gave him his old stuffed toy, so it would protect him from the monsters._

_“He’s so fucking ugly, that he’ll scare all the monsters. Believe me, no monster will dare to enter your room.”_

_Mon-El wrinkled his nose, holding the toy, “What does fucking mean?”_

_“Uhm, that he is really, really ugly and scary and… maybe don’t repeat it, ok? Because mom will -”_

_“Get angry again,” Mon-El stated the obvious. “But what about you? Who will protect you from the monsters?”_

_“Mon, I’m almost 13, I’m old enough to deal with them,” he ruffled his hair._

_His older brother who looked at Mon-El like he was the most important person in his life. Who made him feel loved and protected and happy._

_But well, the idea of Mon-El being someone’s most important person was a fucking joke._

_His amazing older brother just left him alone one day, without saying a word._

*

When he opened his eyes again it was already morning. He rubbed his eyes, trying to erase the crappy memories from his brain. Time to leave shit behind and rise and fucking shine!

He sighed and got up.

Tammy was sleeping in her bed, covered completely with a blanket, from her toes to the head.

Panda on the other hand was totally uncovered.

She was hugging the pillow, drooling all over it, but at least she wasn’t snoring anymore. His shirt rolled up to her waist and revealed her ass covered with blue panties.

He knew he shouldn’t looked at it, he really knew that. Ugh. He needed some fresh air.

Mon-El went outside, said hi to an older couple that was packing stuff into their car. He smiled when he approached his. He patted the hood lovingly, licked a thumb and wiped a small stain from it.   
  
He fucking loved his car.

But he hoped he wasn’t going to have wet dreams about Imra’s human version. Maybe Stefan was right and he was getting ridiculously desperate.

When he came back with his and Tammy’s bags, Panda’s bed was empty and interesting sounds were heard from the bathroom. At least he knew she was alive.

He started to wonder if she was still alive, after a half of an hour of her still occupying the bathroom.

When Mon-El put the last pin on Bug’s head after tying two braids (maybe not the ideal hairstyle but don’t judge him, he’s learnt how to comb long hair three weeks ago - God bless youtube videos) the bathroom’s door finally opened.

Panda was still wearing his shirt, her hair was messy and the look of total confusion on her face was hilarious. Also a bruise on her forehead was big and blueish.

Mon-El almost felt guilty.

Tammy hopped off the chair, entered the bathroom and shut the door behind her. Mon-El hoped she was not going to stay her for another hour. Girls and bathrooms was a thing, apparently.

Panda jumped a little at the sound and winced. Then she squeezed her eyes comically and looked at him.

“Uhm, I have a problem,” she said hesitantly, tugging the sleeves of his shirt.

“Only one?” he joked and started to dig around his bag, searching for a fresh t-shirt.

“Well, no, but this one is the most urgent,” Kara said and walked straight into the couch.

“You found the couch with your knee,” he chuckled, remembering the events from last night.

“Huh?” she moaned, hopping on a one leg and massaging her knee.

“Nothing,” he just shook his head, and took off his t-shirt. “Hey, look out, you’re going into-”

Kara hopped into a wall with a loud bang and cried out.

“A wall,” he finished confused. “Are you still drunk?”

“What? NO!”

“Did you get high in the bathroom?”

“Of course not!” she yelled and walked into a side table.

A vase that was standing on it wobbled and a fascinated Mon-el watched how it fell down and broke into pieces.

“OH MY GOD!” Kara yelped, “I’m so sorry! I-”

“Hey, hey, you're barefoot, you -”

Too fucking late. She stepped on a shred and screamed with pain.

“Right,” he sighed defeatly and approached her.

He seriously wanted to just scope her and carry to a safer place, free from shreds on the floor.

_Bad move._

She was occupied with holding her foot and she didn’t notice him approaching her. So, when he placed a hand on her shoulder, she jerked, surprised, and hit his face with her head.

Kara hit his nose pretty fucking strongly. Mon-El yelled with pain, when blood flushed from his nose like a fountain.

“Oh, my god!” Panda gasped horrified. “I’m so sorry!”

”Right, shut up for a one freaking moment,” he moaned and carried her away from the broken pieces.

He had a double vision. He saw two pandas. TWO. If one almost killed him a moment ago, he was not going to survive two of them, he thought hysterically.

“OW!” he cried when she tried to stop the bleeding with her sleeve. “Don’t touch it!”

“I’m sorry!”

“Stop saying that, woman! OW!”

And then the door opened with a loud bang and the old guy he met in the morning, ran into the room, followed by his worried looking wife.

Mon-El froze with Kara in his arms and her hand covering his nose.

And then he quickly ran through the whole situation.

The messed up room. Broken vase. His bloody nose. The bruises on her forehead and knee. And injured foot. Her super messy hair. Their ruffled clothes. The screaming, crying and loud sounds from minutes before.

He was going to be accused of fucking domestic violence! He needed to think fast!

“It’s not what you think it is!” Panda cried horrified.

“Oh honey,” Mon-El put her down and hugged close to his chest. “It’s exactly what they think it is. I’m sorry,” Mon smiled apologetically at the suspicious couple, “sometimes we get a little too enthusiastic during our fun. She is a real tiger in the bed.” He kissed her neck.

Panda’s face turned a beautiful shade of red in a second. She opened her mouth and an unidentified, high pitched sound came out. She looked at the horrified married couple who stood frozen in their tracks, their jaws hanging wide open.

“See, Bob? Nothing wrong here,” the older lady said after few very awkward moments and put a hand on her husband’s arm. “I’m sorry, he goes into action if there is a possibility of, hmm, domestic violence. We’re very sorry. Let’s go, darling.”

Bob said nothing. Just mumbled something under his breath and allowed his wife to be dragged out. His ears were red.

When the door shut after them Mon-El and Panda looked at each other.

“Oh my God!” she cried, still really red and embarrassed. “Why, you! UGH! They think we…”

“Fucked,” he finished matter-of-factly.

“Why the hell did you say that!?”

“You want me to be accused of beating you?” he rolled his eyes. “Very convenient, seriously. First you kidnapped me and now you want me to be put into a jail. What next, stealing my car?”

“You! You!” she furiously was poking his chest with her fingers. “You!”

“Yes, me,” he growled.

“Yes! You! You… Uhm...” she blinked suddenly, poked his chest one more time... and then place her hand flat on it. “Uhm, why you are naked?” Panda asked confused, becoming red again.

The bathroom door opened and Tammy came out.

“I’m hungry.”

Mon-El sighed.

*

15 minutes later, Bug was occupied with one of her coloring books and eating crackers. Not a very good breakfast for a six year old, but there was nothing better to be found in a vending machine.

Mon-El was sitting on the couch with Panda’s foot on his lap, finishing taking care of it.

“Done,” he said after placing a band aid on the small cut. Thank God he had a first kit in his car.

“Thank you.”

“What are you doing?” he blinked, when she grabbed the first kit and moved close to him.

“Your nose needs tending to,” she said simply.

“Right. Not from you, I don’t need amputation,” he said sarcastically and tried to take the kit back, but she held it tightly.

“Please,” she said in a small voice, her cheeks pink. “It’s the only way I can repay you and… and show how much I’m sorry.”

She threw him a quick glance and again he was stunned how blue her eyes were.

_Freaking comets._

Mon-El groaned, because for sure he was going to lose his poor nose.

“Ok,” he said, sounding resigned to his fate. People can function without noses, right?

“Uhm, what are you doing?” he asked confused again, when she approached him and her face stopped… inches from his.

“Tending to your nose,” she answered with furrowed brows, looking super focused on her work.

“I see that, but why so... close?”

“Why? Embarrassed, Mr She Is A Tigress In The Bed?” she asked cooly and threw him an annoyed look.

He slowly raised his brow. Still angry about that, huh?

“Not really, but your morning breath on the other hand...” he grinned when she turned pink.

Making her frustrated was becoming his favorite hobby.

But the smugness was wiped from his face when she poked his throbbing nose.

“OW!”

“I am so sorry, that was an accident,” she said sweetly.

 _Accident my ass_ , he thought rolling his eyes. But he shut up. He liked his nose after all.

“But, uhm, about the problem I mentioned before I -”

“Before you violated me?” She gave him a dark look. “Right, continue.”

“Well, I lost my contact lenses,” she said sheepishly.

Mon-El blinked. The way she walked into the stuff in the morning. The way her face was inches away from his right now. The way she was comically squeezing her eyes.

“Wait, you’re blind?”

“I’m not blind!” she said defensively, “My sight is just... not the best! And I have a little hangover! And I’m not a morning person and it’s dark here. Seriously, my sight is ok!”

“Oh, really? What’s on the shelf?”

Kara looked around the room. “What shelf?” she asked hesitantly.

He gently took her chin and moved her head.

“Oh, uhm… a book?”

Mon-El stared at the figurine of a an angel.

“Yep, we need to find you an eye-specialist,” he said flatly.

“Sorry… and...”

“What?” he groaned.

“Erm… can I borrow another shirt?”

_Oh, for fuck’s sake._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Panda in Mon's dream is my beloved beta - yeratimelord_katniss fault.  
> Hoped you liked it! Unicorns for all awe and some people who left comments, liked and read my shit. I love you all <3


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Cat’s purse keeps ruining Kara’s life, Mon gets a call and wants to get laid, Bug prefers to be a boy and Mr Fugly can’t stop all monsters, because some of them are real.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, I ROYALLY FUCKED UP, guys. Tammy needs to be 8, not 6.  
> The way I write fics - I have some ideas and know more or less where I’m going with the story, but when I sit and start writing my plans land in the bin, usually. Writers who have all things planned, freak me out, lol. So, unfortunately, her age is kind of crucial for this story and it needed to be fixed. And, well, probably more shit like that is comming, but I'll try to be more careful. Please, bear with my ass.
> 
> Secondly, enjoy this chap. As always big thanks to my dearest beta, yeratimelord_katniss <3

 

They found an eye-specialist in some drowsy town. An old guy just glanced at her, when she entered his clinic and stumbled over a threshold, and without a word he dragged her into a clinical room. After putting dilating drops into her eyes and running some medical exams, he kicked her out and grumpily told her to come back in few hours.

At least he didn’t look like a guy who was interested in gossip, so he probably had no freaking idea who Kara Danvers was. She hoped.

The asshole and the girl were not in the waiting room, so she opened the front door and freaking died.

Because of the dilating drops her pupils were large, super light sensitive and made her sight blurry. A beam of strong sunlight hit her eyes and her brain exploded with pain. And then she tripped and fell on her face, because why not.

Kara sighed unto the pavement. She could have been married now. Sitting on a beach, sipping fancy cocktails, reading a stupid novel later, maybe not a very satisfactory one but a nice wedding night with a guy of her dreams.

Instead she was kissing the pavement, wearing another shirt belonging to the asshole, with a bruised forehead and foot (and knees, now), hurting eyes and-

“Are you looking for something?”

Kara groaned when she heard his teasing voice.

“Yes, for my lost hopes and dreams,” she muttered angrily when he grasped her shoulders and helped her to get up.

“Uhm, why are your eyes closed?”

“Dilating drops,” she tried to open her eyes slightly, but - big fat nope, the sun was still frying her brain.

“Okay, where are your sunglasses?”

“In my... well not really mine, purse. I dropped it somewhere.”

“Wait a sec,” she heard him unzipp the purse, “Geez, do you have a whole shop stuffed here?... Uhm, you have-”

 _Please God, not the condoms, not the condoms, not the condoms_.

“-a cool hunting knife,” he sounded half amused, half amazed.

She sighed in relief, “Thanks.”

And then he put sunglasses on her nose. She squinted her eyes open.

“Better?”

“Well, instead of a white wall of light I see blurry shapes, so that’s an improvement.”

“Great,” he showed the purse into her arms. “Let’s go.”

“What? Where?” she asked confused and almost tripped again.

He sighed and put an arm around her waist to steady her. “Shopping. I want my shirts back.”

*

When they entered an outlet he smiled at the first salesgirl, pushed Panda into her direction and lied she lost her baggage on an airport. While the weakly protesting Kara was dragged by the smiling girl, Mon-El glanced at Tammy.

When they left _that house_ , he didn’t really bother to take her stuff with them, all he wanted was to leave with her as fast as he could. He bought some things later, but it was not enough.

Mon-El smiled charmingly at another salesgirl and calmly watched her carry a lot of of pink and well, cute (he guessed) clothes.

“Do you like something, honey?” the girl asked Tammy.

Bug didn’t answer.

“Hey?” he poked her shoulder.

Tammy slowly raised her head and looked at him with big, terrified eyes. Her lips were trembling a little.

Mon-El blinked. Don’t ask him _how_ he understood, sixth sense maybe, but somehow he knew exactly what was wrong.

He smiled at the salesgirl. “Do you have stuff for boys?”

10 minutes - and a lot of convincing that yes, he was sure he wanted to buy boys’ clothes for his girl - later, Bug was a satisfied owner of few Marvel t-shirts with Thor and two pairs of baggy pants with a lot of pockets.

Mon-El looked around, searching for Kara.

He finally spotted her with hands full of clothes, trying and miserably failing to refuse more stuff the salesgirl was bringing her.

“She seriously doesn’t know how to say no, huh?” he said and scratched his cheek, “I’ll help her or we won’t leave for another hour.”

Tammy just shrugged and sat on a couch.

“Ok, I’ll take care of it from now,” he flashed the salesgirl a killing smile and she shut her ready to protest mouth. She sighed dreamily.

Mon-El took the big pile of clothes from Kara’s hands and pushed her into a changing room.

“Try… Well, not this, not this,” he muttered and put some ugly shit away, “This one,” he handed her  a shirt that should have looked good on her.

“Do you need help with undressing?” he asked only half-seriously, after few moments when she hadn’t taken it.

“NO! Stay away!” she finally yanked the clothes from his hand, muttering angrily under her breath.

“Thank God,” he hummed and hunted for more normal clothes.

“Are you going to show the outfits or not,” he asked, when he returned with armful of clothes, tapping his foot impatiently.

“Not,” she growled from behind the curtain.

“How are you going to choose if you have a blurry vision,” he sighed.

“It’s not that bad!” she growled back, “And what? Do you really want to ogle me that much?”

Mon-El puffed out his cheeks. He didn’t know her for that long, but he knew exactly what to say.

“Dear God, no. It would be a torture. I just asked out of courtesy. You’re the last woman on this planet I want to-”

She yanked the curtain forcefully, with pursued lips and comically squeezed eyes.

He sized her up critically.

“You should take it,” he said without thinking and mentally slapped himself a second later. It was a wrong thing to say.

She threw him a dark look and a “No way in hell!” before she grabbed clothes from his hands and yanked the curtain back.

Alright, so he needed a change in tactics.

When she appeared again, with a creamy sweater with long sleeves and _really_ nice neckline, he said flatly:

“Really not your color.”

“I’m taking it,” she growled and he smiled, when she hid behind the curtain again.

This was how she chose most of her clothes. Mon-El decided not to think about why it made him so happy.

 _Life is great,_ he thought and spotted an interesting looking t-shirt when they approached the checkout. He grabbed it with a mischievous grin.

But then Kara put her purse on the counter and started digging for money. She left a frustrated huff. Absently, she took out and put on the counter a hairbrush, mirror, a ball of crumpled receipts... the hunting knife, a package of condoms and a pleasure gel.

Mon-El’s brows slowly raised and reached his hairline. _Well, well, well, who could suspect Panda possessed things like that?_

“Ha!” Kara finally took out the money and slammed it on the counter.

And then her eyes landed on the other things she dug out. She squeezed her eyes, froze and turned white. Her mouth fell wide open when she looked at equally frozen salesgirl.

Mon-El chuckled. He took her chin gently and closed her mouth (she looked really dumb).

“Hush, hush, babe,” he said and casually put the things back into the purse like he was doing it every day. “No need to be embarrassed.” Mon-El checked a bill and pushed money into the girl’s direction. “She is a tiger,” he sighed dreamily, enjoying the sounds Panda was generating.

Then he just put the clothes into her hands, grabbed the change and dragged speechless Kara out.

She was still speechless when they entered the clinic and when she came back with a pair of cute glasses on her nose. She still didn’t say a word when they got back to the car.

And then they ended in a amazing traffic jam.

Mon-El sighed tiredly when they didn’t move for few minutes and turned the radio on. Two women were discussing the newest gossips. After dumb shit about Morgan Edge crushing on Lena Luthor and a conspiracy theory about president Marsdin being a reptilian, they changed the topic:

_And now back to the CatCo drama! James Olsen refused to answer our questions about his wed-_

It was kind of funny.

In one second Panda was sitting numblessly with her forehead leaning on the window, in the next, with a ninja speed, she switched over the station.

Speakers blasted with the sounds of heavy guitars and some guy growling.

Kara looked at Mon-El who raised a brow. Her cheeks turned rosy.

“I got really tired of the gossips, uhm and I like-” she cringed when the vocalist growled like a butchered animal, “this kind of music.”

“You like death metal?” he raised a second brow.

“Absolutely love it,” she smiled with a twitching cheek and a crinkle between her eyes.

And then it hit him. She was crinkling when she was lying! Ha! They totally needed to play strip poker!

_Wait, from where did that come from?_

“Right,” he blinked and focused his sight on the car in front of him.

He needed to get laid.

Seriously. Strip poker with Panda? What the hell? He was not desperate, for fucks’ sake. She was not his type. Not even close. She was annoying. And clumsy. And too skinny. And ok, she had killer legs and he would worship her ass with his hands, but-

His phone started vibrating. Distracting by the thoughts about how perfectly her ass could fit his hands, he turned the volume down and answered his phone, without checking the caller.

A fucking mistake.

“Honey bear! Finally!” the sound of her cheerful and super loud voice was probably heard outside the car.

Mon-El growled like Behemoth’s vocalist and banged his head on the wheel.

For the next minute that felt like a fucking century, he was listening absently to her blabbering and wondering if throwing his phone out of the window was a good idea (well, no, because Bennet would skin him alive, but still it was very appealing).

He tried to focus on her monologue and on how much she had missed him (yeah, right), how couldn’t wait to see him (yeah, right), wanted to return some of his stuff (his Led Zeppelin collection maybe?) talked with her lawyer (wait, what?) and couldn’t wait to meet his niece and…

Mon-El banged his head against the wheel. And again. And again. Then he raised his head, pinched the bridge of his nose and braced himself to tell her she could go to hell and stay there for fucking eternity.

“Hayley, I can’t talk right now, I’ll call you later,” and he hung up, before she could protest. And then turned his cell off.

Well, no one ever said he was a brave hero or something.

“Uhm, was that your girlfriend?” Kara asked hesitantly after a few awkward minutes.

“Wife,” he answered and immediately cringed, “I mean, ex-wife. It’s a fresh thing.” He sighed.

Kara blinked and glanced confused at Tammy.

“Bug’s my niece,” he answered the next question she probably wanted to ask - how could such a young guy have an 8 year old kid.

“Oh,” now she looked at him weirdly, “Ok.”

“It’s complicated,” Mon-El said and before she could ask another question he was not ready to answer this time he turned the sound up and switched the gears when cars in front him finally moved.

He seriously needed to get laid.

*

Kara sat cross-legged on her motel bed with furrowed brows, staring at the unfamiliar T-shirt in her hands. It had a cute panda printed on the front and she didn’t remember buying it.

Well, the only thing she was going to remember from the shop was embarrassing herself. Again. Why has her life turned into some teenage high school drama? Ugh.

Her not very pleasant train of thoughts was interrupted by Mike, who came in the room and looked at the shirt in her hands.

“Cute panda,” he said, sounding suspiciously innocent or was she hearing things? Then he squinted his eyes and gasped. “Wait, why are you wearing _my_ shirt again!?” he asked angrily. Kara blushed.

“Well, I forgot to buy pajamas…” she said weakly and gulped because she kind of went through his bag and stol- erm, _borrowed_ the first shirt she found.

Kara looked at him with big, sad eyes waiting to face awful but true accusations.

Mike opened his mouth, made a weird sound, rolled his eyes and just entered the bathroom shutting the doors behind him.

Kara blinked and sighed with relief.

But what the hell he was doing here so early?

When they stopped for the night, he waited for Tammy to fall asleep and then asked Kara if she could babysit for the night. When she agreed, he showered, changed his clothes and left without a word.

The smug look on his face right before he left told her he was going to… _ugh, yikes, eww_. She was not going to think about it. He could do what he wanted of course, she didn’t have a problem with that. She was sure he was going to get lucky with his fluffy hair, few-days stubble and black jeans that hugged his ass perfectly… Wait. Why she was thinking about his ass? UGH. That was not the point!

He left like 40 something minutes ago, so why he returned so early? He didn’t find a bar? Or found and …. uhm, has done _stuff_ so quickly? Was that even possible? He was that good or…?

Kara growled and hid her face in the panda’s t-shirt. She stayed like that for few minutes trying to calm herself down and rid the very not welcomed images of him that were polluting her goddamned brain.

She didn’t hear him coming back, so she jumped, surprised when she heard his voice right beside her.

“I hope you’re not blowing your nose into a brand new shirt,” he said, amused, wearing black t-shirt and boxers and-

AND HE LAID HIS ASS ON HER BED AND TUGGED HIMSELF IN HER BLANKET!

“What?” he asked smugly when she stared at him frozen. “No yelling,” he said, when she opened her mouth to clearly yell at him. “If you wake up Bug I’m going to kick you out.”

“What the hell are you doing?!” she hissed with high pitched voice.

“Going to bed, obviously.” He rolled his eyes.

“My bed!”

“Friendly reminder I paid for the room and-” he clasped his hand on her mouth, before she could yell again, “Be quiet,” Mike hissed. “Do you see a couch here?”

“Ugmpff!”

“I will take it as a no. Do you want me to sleep on the floor? Don’t answer that,” he said before she could ugmpff or nod. “Look, I’m tired and I need my beauty sleep. This bed is big, we can share it without colliding, ok?”

He waited patiently, with his hand clasped on her mouth. The warmth of skin radiating from it. When she couldn’t take it anymore, she nodded.

“Great,” he smiled, removed his hand and wiped it on the blanket.

“You can sleep with your niece,” she hissed.

Mike just stared at her flatly.

“What?”

“Yeah, and I’m going to wake up in jail, geez, thanks.”

“What are you talking about?” Kara cried. Quietly.

“ _24 year old pervert caught sleeping with his 8 year old niece in one bed, claiming he did nothing wrong_ ,” he said with a fake announcer’s voice. “Not gonna happen. And I’m not going to let a runaway bride sleep with Bug either,” he said before she could suggest that.

What the hell was wrong with this guy and his ability to read her mind?!

_Bastard!_

“I can sleep on the floor,” she said after a long moment of staring contest.

“We have one blanket and it’s quite cool tonight,” he smiled. “But be my guest.”

_Jerk!_

She threw her hands in the air, made an angry noise, grabbed the pillow and placed it between them.

Mike raised his brows, “If you jump me in the night, I’m going to scream for help,” he said and turned his back.

_What the hell did he just suggest?!_

“Nighty night,” he yawned.

_Goddamned asshole!_

Kara stared at his relaxed back hard. If she had heat vision, he would have been dead already. Then she huffed, switched a bed lamp off and laid as far from him as she could.

She was _sure_ the smug butthole was smiling.

*

_Mon-El stopped the car in front of his family house and without hesitation he got off. He knew one second of rational thinking would have made him run away with a tail between his legs._

_But thankfully he was too pissed off to think clearly._

_He practically charged into the house he truly hated for his whole life and of course, the first person he met just had to be his dear mommy, right?_

_Fuck his karma._

_Rhea was looking stunning in a simple black dress and pearls around her neck. Perfect in every detail, even when she was mourning._

_A monster in disguise._

_“Not a fucking word,” he growled when he passed her and ran up to the stairs, because there was only one place his parents could place his niece._

_(He didn’t really notice back then that it was the first time his mother did what he asked her.)_

_Mon-El reached his old room, opened the door and stormed into it._

_And then he stopped dead in his tracks._

_She was sitting stiffly on his bed, wearing a black dress, white knee socks and shiny black shoes. She looked like a perfect white porcelain doll with big eyes, shiny from unshed tears, and her dark hair tied into two braids._

_The girl jumped a little when he entered and looked at him with a disturbingly familiar expression on her tiny face, then quickly looked at her knees._

_He was sure he looked exactly like that in the past, every time his mother stormed into his room - with badly hidden fear in his eyes._

_Mon-El opened his mouth but no sound came out._

_Because what the fuck was he going to tell her? She didn’t know who the hell he was. It was the first time he met her. He was a goddamned stranger who just ran into her room. After a whole week living under one roof with his mother, she was probably terrorized to the core. And he just scared her more._

_But then he spotted a stuffed animal she was hugging tightly to her chest._

_Mr Fugly._

_Mon-El swallowed loudly. He approached her slowly, not wanting to scare her more and kneeled in front of her, praying her father told her about the rabbit._

_“I see you found Mr Fugly,” he said softly. “Your dad gave it to me when I was a little younger than you.”_

_She blinked rapidly when she heard the name and looked at him, searching his face._

_“Your dad told me that Mr Fugly can scare the monsters away.” Too bad it couldn’t scare and protect them both from his mother._

_“I know… I know we have never met, but I’m your uncle. My name is-”_

_“Mon-El?” she asked with a tiny and shaky voice. His throat tightened painfully and all he could do was give her a short nod._

_And then she threw herself into his arms and hugged his neck desperately. Mon-El froze, not knowing what to do._

_For years he truly hated her. Even if he understood perfectly how unfair and stupid it was, he couldn’t help it._

_And now she was hugging him, like he was the most important person in the world, because she didn’t know what a piece of shit he was._

_But finally, he put his arms around her and hugged her too._

_“It’s going to be ok,” he murmured, swallowing hard. “It’s going to be ok, Bug.” Mon-El hoped he sounded like he really meant it, even if he knew it was a lie._

_Later, when she was sleeping in their hotel room, he was sitting on a couch with a bottle of beer in his hand and wondering how the fuck he was going to survive the next few days. And then…_

And then Panda’s fucking fist landed on his face and he woke up. In pain.

*

Mon-El didn’t scream and he was proud of himself for it. That didn’t change the fact his cheek hurt like hell and he was going to get a bruise for sure.

Panda was lying on her back, with her legs and arms outstretched like a freaking starfish, occupying 80% of the bed.

He really, really wanted to kick her out from the bed and scream - not only because she violated him again, but also because she stole his favorite Led Zeppelin shirt - but he couldn’t. Tammy was plastered to his side, sleeping soundly.

When Mon-El entered the bar earlier, he seriously intended to waste his ass and get laid. But when a bartender asked what he wanted he said nothing, stood up from the stool and left.

Because he realized Tammy was going to wake up in the middle of the night and search for him, and he was not going to be there.

So now, he was lying on the bed, with Panda’s fist on his face and his niece plastered to his side, feeling like… well, not a spoon, because they were not spooning, but like a hamburger, maybe?

_Yeah, a flat, beaten hamburger. Geez._

He took Kara’s hand and placed it on her stomach. A second later in landed on his, now double-bruised, cheek again.

“Kara?” he moaned quietly and winced when Tammy moved and whimpered.

He poked Panda. And then again. She didn’t wake up or even flinch. Carefully, he laid on his side and pushed her a little further from him. She didn’t even stir in her super deep sleep. And a minute later she came back and almost castrated him, when her knee crushed his balls. Still, he didn’t scream (howling inside of his head didn’t count).

Wiping tears from his eyes he considered his options: a) kicking her out of the bed, b) tying and gagging and locking in the bathroom, c) choking to death.

Mon-El sighed because the options, as much as he liked b and c, were not going to happen. But there was one more way.

*

Kara slowly woke up, warm, relaxed and happy for some reason. She didn’t sleep that well for months. She snuggled into the pillow, enjoying the feeling of James’ arms around her and-

Wait, James was not there. That meant…!

Her eyes opened and then her body froze because indeed, the asshole’s arms were loosely hugging her and she felt his body right behind her back.

Kara started to breath really hard, her heart beating loudly like a drum. And when she was about to scream:

“Don’t,” Mike said softly, his breath brushing the back of her neck.

“Don’t what, you-”

“Yell at me. And stop hyperventilating.”

“I’m not hyperventilating! What the hell-”

He clasped his hand on her mouth.

“It’s 5 am, if you start screaming, we are going to have to explain to the whole motel that no, we didn’t try to kill each other,” he said tiredly. “Ok?”

“Ugmphdrr!”

“Glad you agree with me,” Mike said and removed his hand.

“What the hell are you doing, you pervert?!” Kara hissed.

“Just look at my face.”

She turned her head to yell at him (quietly) again, but in the morning sun she saw a new and very bluish bruise on his cheek, that was fitting the sight of his still slightly swollen nose.

“Oh… What happened?”

He slowly opened his gray eyes and looked at her accusingly.

“Your fist happened,” he said flatly. “Did anyone tell you that you move a lot when you sleep?”

Well, actually yes, someone did. It was James, after one of their movie nights, when they fell asleep on the couch together and he woke her up, telling her (half-amused, half-annoyed) that she almost knocked him out and he couldn’t imagine sleeping with her in bed because she moved so much. Kara knew he was joking and he didn’t mean it, but it upset her a little and made her so embarrassed. She swore she was going to sleep like a baby, especially with him.

And somehow she succeeded, because the next joke he made, few months later, was about her sleeping stifly like a, tadah!, dead body (ha ha ha... ha... ha… yeah).

“I’m sorry,” she bit her lip, looking at the ugly blue evidence of her imperfect and violent nature.

“It’s ok, ” Mike sighed and closed his eyes. “It’s not like you meant it. I hope. And well, you’re a tiger in the bed after all.” Mike smiled a little and-

Fell asleep. He fell asleep. Just like that! Like-! Like-!

Kara turned her head, stared at the wall and sighed.

What was going on with her life - she had no freaking idea. And because there was no way in hell she was going to fall asleep again, Kara started to think about all the shit.

She started with the most obvious thing - she was sleeping in one bed with a guy she met TWO days ago, wearing his (another) shirt that smelled like pines and something that was hard to describe, sharing one blanket and spooning.

Spooning! She didn’t remember when was the last time she spooned with James, because she felt uncomfortable and afraid of breaking his pretty nose with her elbow or something. Also, after spooning she usually woke up super stiff and not rested. His arms around her were heavy and maybe even suffocating a little? She wasn’t sure.

And spooning with the asshole was… different. Maybe because she hurt him already, embarrassed herself in front of him more times she could count and didn’t need to pretend she was a perfect example of the American perfect girl, because she wasn’t. Normally she would die from embarrassment sleeping like that with a hot (because he was hot - she was not blind… that much) guy who was a basically total stranger.

Yet, she felt relaxed and comfortable, because the way he was hugging her was absolutely not sexual. Poor asshole was just protecting his vital organs. And well, he kind of said he was not interested. And he liked to tease her to death and kept her on her toes all the time and she really, really hated it, because it was so different than how James treated her. And he was totally not her type. He looked like a guy who could have a girl in every town an she was very serious about stuff like _that_.

On the other hand, he clearly cared about his niece and was super gentle with her. And took her to the shop. And to the doc. And let her drive with them. And didn’t look very offended or angry when she stol-, erm, borrowed his another shirt. Oh, and his shampoo, but maybe he didn’t notice… And he bought her delicious food, well only to tease her more but still. Oh boy, she hasn’t eaten that much unhealthy and amazing things for a long, long time. Since she’d started that wedding diet….

Kara groaned when the train of thoughts took a very unpleasant turn.

God, how the hell she was going to face James after all of this? He was such a fantastic guy, so caring and understanding, she truly didn’t deserve him. The worst thing was they worked together and… Holy shit, Miss Grant’s purse! Her boss was going to kill her, there was no doubt about it! She freaking stole her purse and Cat Grant didn’t forgive shit like that!

And her mother. Her MOTHER. No, no, noooo, let’s not think about it. Maybe after two weeks her mother was going to become less… furious… and blood thirsty... Yeah, right, with the media shit storm that was probably ruining their family’s reputation her mother was going to murder her. For dead and for good.

Last time she was furious with Kara, was when her only daughter chose the path of her career. Kara shivered when she thought about it. Her mother was talking to her only because James persuaded Kara to try to fix their relationship. Kara wasn’t sure if she was thankful.

Wait? What? She loved her mother. She was her family and family was the most important thing in the world. Period. Thank God they still talked and…

_She was going to kill her._

Kara moaned and hid her face into the pillow. She needed to stop thinking about it or she was going to get sick.

And then Mike mumbled something about dumb pandas and tightened his grip and rubbed his face against the back of her neck. His two days stubble scratched her skin a little.

Kara froze but almost immediately relaxed again. Once again, it was not sexual just...comforting. And kind of sweet, even if he wasn’t aware of what he was doing. Like he felt she was distressed and wanted to make her feel better.

His arms around her were warm and not suffocating her.

Maybe... Maybe he was not that bad after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reeding and leaving feedback. You are all awe and some and it's a freaking pleasure to write for you :)


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Kara’s life takes a criminal turn, Mon-El flashes his ass, Tammy says some questionable things and Mr Fugly causes a panic among little girls.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I know. I am a horrible updater. Shame on me.  
> My beloved beta yeratimelord_katniss said only two times that she really hate me during editing this chap.  
> Also... hmm, a lot of you said something about hurting Mon in the comments... and hoping it's going to be... better? Well *sweats*, enjoy the chap?

Sitting on a very uncomfortable hospital bench and clutching his jacket like a lifeline, all Kara could think about was:

She was screwed. So, so screwed. Her beautiful and successful life took a very unexpected turn and was heading straight into the jail. 

She was… she was a freaking murderer!

*

_ Few hours earlier _

Kara was outvoted. Again. 

One minute she was sitting in the car, trying to convince herself that sleeping in one bed with a guy hugging her from behind was not that big deal and definitely not  _ cheating on James,  _ the second she was forced to leave the car.

Mike said, with his goddamned grin, that “majority has spoken”. What  _ majority  _ for blazing hell’s sake?! One voter was a minor and the other a freaking stuffed rabbit! 

Kara growled a little, looking around at the happy people, tugging her hat down as far as her glasses allowed. She didn’t want to attend some stupid family picnic in some stupid little town. 

What if someone recognized it? Of course, she was just a random CatCo reporter, with only one big breaking article and well, she was probably better known as James fiancée, but this whole wedding drama definitely was a hot topic for every gossip site and news. Knowing Miss Grant, Kara’s love life was a new golden goose in CatCo. 

At least it’s possible that, for the first time, Miss Grant was fully satisfied with her reporter’s doings, Kara thought grimly, totally ignoring what Mike and Tammy were talking about.

She was so occupied with her gloomy thoughts, that she didn’t notice Mike stopping in front of her. With a grunt she collided with his back and would have fallen on her ass if he hadn’t caught her arm. Without even looking back. Like he expected it was going to happen.

Guys shouldn’t have such good attention divisibility. 

_ Asshole _ .

But before she could say something stupid, Mike released her arm and asked, “What do you think, Bug?” He was looking at a bunch of kids playing in an enormous sandbox not so far away from them.

Tammy shifted a little and hugged Mr Fugly, staring at the kids from behind her bangs.

“Well-” she started slowly, “there are a lot of girls and… two boys.”

Mon-El scratched his cheek. 

When he spotted the picnic banners, he thought it was a good idea. Tammy shouldn't have been spending whole days in a car with two grown ups, the ugliest toy in the world and Mon-El’s questionable music preferences. Right? He thought so. He guessed? He had no fucking idea? Whatever. The point was, having a little fun was not going to harm anyone. 

He hoped.

But… Was she in that age when girls didn’t like interacting with boys? And thought they were stupid? Because for sure he thought that about girls when he was around her age. The girls behaved like some alien creatures from Krypton, so it was likely girls thought the same about boys, right?

“Well, I know there are a lot of differences between girls and boys-” he started but shut up when Tammy rolled her eyes.

“There is only one difference between girls and boys, Mon-El,” she said with a painful sigh of a tired 8 year old that had to say something  _ obvious  _ to a stupid adult.

Mon-El tried not to grin, because if she was going to say boys had cooties-

“Girls have vaginas and boys have penises,” Tammy finished flatly.

Somehow, with the help of gods and Kara, who suddenly made one of her infamous, unidentified sounds and squeezed his arm super hard, he managed to keep his easy grin on his face.

_ Don’t. You. Dare. Fucking. Laugh -  _ he repeated in his head like a mantra. 

It was serious. Serious things were not hilarious. And little kids hated when adults were dying from laughter when they said something serious. He knew that from his own experiences.

“That’s correct,” he said, mentally clapping himself on the back, because his voice sounded almost normal. “But I’m sure that… despite of the hmm, obvious differences boys and girls can have fun together.”

“But girls are also stupid,” Tammy sighed darkly and then marched to the kids’ direction like a little soldier ready for a battle.

When she was far enough Mon-El bursted into laughing. 

“It’s not funny!” Kara squeaked faintly. “Should kids in her age say things like that?”

“Things like, girls are stupid?” he chuckled.

“Seriously? This is the most problematic thing she said in your opinion?” Kara growled.

“How should I know? I’ve been an uncle just for the last two months,” he wiped tears from his eyes. “Can you please release my arm? I need my blood circulation back.”

Kara blinked and then looked at his arm that was squeezed in her iron grip. She let go immediately, trying not to think that his muscles under her hand were….  _ mhm _ .

_ Bad thoughts. _

She pinched the bridge of her nose, sighed deeply and followed him to the benches.  

He was sitting on one of them already, looking super relaxed, like he owned the place. He could probably act like that in every situation. Saying she was a little jealous of this ability was like saying she found potstickers rather tasty.

“I think she’s doing fine,” he said, looking at Tammy who was talking to the group gathered around her. 

It was nice she was interacting with kids her age. For the last few weeks she was really quiet and Mon-El had started to worry. Things that have happened to her were awful and she was still grieving, obviously, but… He got a nasty impression that something bad was going inside of her head. Was it too early to ask for some more professional help? Or maybe she was just a quiet, introverted kid? But maybe not? Because watching her behaving like normal kid, gave him a small hope that-

And then suddenly all of the girls shrieked and ran away. Quickly.

“You think?” Kara said rather sarcastically.

“Uhm,” he scratched his cheek and blinked, because the two boys stayed with Tammy and now were laughing happily.

And then the three kids sat and started to play together.

_ Well, well, well _ . It seemed that his niece knew how to pick her friends.

“You said, something?” he asked smugly and Kara just sighed. 

For the next few minutes they sat in complete, comfortable silence. 

Well, it wasn’t comfortable enough and Mon-El couldn’t relax, because of Kara. 

She was tugging her hat nervously and looking around like criminal ready to be caught.

“Can you stop doing that?” he finally asked, annoyed.

“Doing what?”

“Being tense as hell.”

“I’m not tense!”

Mike threw her a look, “You’re crinkling.”

“I am not!” Kara gasped, horrified.

“Right. And of course you don’t crinkle when you lie.”

Kara tugged her hat down, blushing hard. Even James was not aware of the crinkle. Only Alex knew. How did this asshole notice it?  _ HOW _ ?

Mike rolled his eyes. “Ok, ok. I just hope you don’t need to lie a lot in your work.”

“I’m a reporter.”

He slowly turned his head and looked at her. Then blinked.

“And you’re good at it?”

“What that supposed to mean?!” 

Mike scratched his cheek. “I don’t know, I always thought that reporters should be good at working undercover. Be bold and you -” he swallowed what he wanted to say, when she threw him an angry Panda look. “Yeah, ok. I just hope you like your job.”

He tried to finish this conversation in a nice manner, but then he looked at her forehead and… she was  _ half crinkling.  _ Like her crinkle couldn’t decide if Kara liked her job or not. And the look on her face was unusual - like she was staring into the void.

It was creepy.

“I didn’t like mine,” he said to break the silence. “One day I was just sitting in my parents’ firm, doing meaningless shit and thought how much I hated it and-”  _ and it was the last time he’s seen his brother alive, _ “ I quit.”

“Your parents didn’t protest?” Kara asked, glancing at him.

“They disowned me,” he said happily.

“Pfft, nice joke,” Kara laughed and then looked at his face. “Wait, it’s not a joke?” she gasped.

“Yepp,” he smiled wider.

“What kind of parents do things like that?” she sounded horrified and Mon-El scratched his jaw.

_ The “abusive pieces of shit” kind?  _ he thought, but just shrugged nonchalantly. He was not going to say that to make himself look like a victim. 

“My mother is going to kill me,” Panda said suddenly and again stared into the void. “She is a well known judge and everybody thought I was going to follow her steps, hell, even I thought that but then,” she sighed. “You know, my life was perfect and organised and, hmm, didn’t feel like mine? So instead of law school I decided to choose journalism and it was great, it was really amazing! Even if mom was… disappointed and pretty angry for some time. And then I had no problems with finding a job and I met James and mother was proud of me. Well, sometimes. God, she is not going to forgive me this time… and...” Kara waved her hands like she didn’t know how to articulate her thoughts.

“And you don't want to disappoint her again, but you already did. Also, you fear you don’t really like your job that much and you chose it subconsciously, only to piss her off, which looks awful but is really common, seriously, kids do dumb shit like that. And she sounds like a dictator, so screw her? And well, you don’t need her forgiveness, because there is nothing to forgive,” he finished his rant. “What? It’s true.” Mon-El said when she looked at him with her mouth wide open.

“Are you psychic or something?” Panda asked finally.

“No? I’ve just spent half of my life trying to get my parents’ attention and the other half trying disappear from their radar. I only recently realized that trying to impress them was pointless and I should not give a fuck. But well, I needed my brother to die finally to grasp it,” he blinked when he realized what he’s just said. “Shit, I should not have said that, sorry,” he said sheepishly.

Panda was looking at him with a weird expression on her face, a mix of sympathy, compassion and sadness and it made him super uncomfortable. People didn’t give him looks like that. And he didn’t like seeing it on her face. He prefered her to be happy. Or embarrassed. Or pissed off.

“But hey, no one said you need to be a reporter forever,” he changed the topic, “There are better jobs where you don’t need to lie.”

“I lie just fine!” 

“And there is that little crinkle back again.”

“It’s not! And I can lie!”

“Oh yeah?” he smiled, “So let’s make an experiment. I’ll ask you a question and you can lie or not. If you deceive me you’ll win. The loser buys a smoothie. Deal?” he asked innocently, mischievous sparks dancing in his eyes.

“Deal!”

“You think sex with me would be amazing.”

Panda opened her mouth and then realization hit her hard. There was no good answer to that. 

Fascinated Mon-El watched how she fastly became red, from the chin to the hairline in few seconds.

And then she squeezed her eyes, threw him a pissed off look (if it could kill, he would be dead by now), grabbed her purse and stood up, muttering something under her breath. 

“Just - nothing too sweet!” he shouted after her retreating back and laughed hard when she showed him the middle finger.

He needed to take things back. Pissed AND frustrated Panda was the best. 

*

“What can I get- uhm?” a seller blinked when the lady wearing a big hat, raised her head and pierced him with laser-like blue eyes. 

“What do you recommend?” she asked darkly.

“Uhm, our fruit smoothies are the best. I recommend mango, it’s really sweet and- uhm?” he stopped again when the lady chuckled darkly.

“Which one is the sweetest?”

“Well, the new dumb guy added too much sugar to the raspberries, but it’s seriously super sweet and- uhm?”

“I’ll take it,” she smiled like a cheshire cat and he felt cold shivers running down his spine.

Someone was going to die, but thankfully, it was not him.

*

_ In the hospital _

She forgot about Monty Python and that he was allergic to the freaking raspberries. 

One second she was giving him the smoothie with the innocent face of an angel. The next she was smiling widely when he choked on it, asking why it tasted like raspberries. 

And then he fainted.

And then she remembered what he said about raspberries on the day they met.

Sitting on the hospital bench and massaging her throbbing temples she wanted to cry.

Ok, he was the asshole, but she didn’t want to kill him. A run away bride and a murderer? She could imagine the headlines of every news and Miss Grant attending talk shows, describing her fallen employee. 

While Kara was going to watch it in her prison cell, writing a shitty autobiography. 

_ Oh my God! _

“I need to talk with Alex,” she hid her face in his jacket and groaned.

“Mon’s cell is in the pocket,” Tammy said, matter-of-factly. She was sitting on the bench beside Kara, swinging her legs, looking disturbingly not affected by the whole situation.

“Uhm,” Kara checked the pockets and indeed, she found his cell. “I don’t think I should-”

“He won’t mind,” Tammy shrugged,“He is going to focus on the fact you poisoned him.”

“Right,” Kara said slowly and hesitantly dialed Alex’s number. 

She needed to talk with someone normal or she was going to lost her mind.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Alex-”

And then her cousin started yelling for 3 minutes, using brand new insults Kara didn’t hear before. 

She learnt about the whole situation at home, her mother being furious, James being super worried and depressed, Cat Grant being suspiciously quiet and reporters harassing the whole family and friends. And then Alex finished, filling Kara’s ear with angry huffs.

“Are you ok?” Alex asked finally when she calmed down.

“Yeah. I’m good. I’m great. I just probably killed someone.”

“Look, for sure it’s not that bad,” Alex said few minutes later, after Kara had described the whole situation. “ It looks like fainting is how his body reacts to the allergen.”

“You think?” Kara sniffed. “He is an asshole, but I don’t want him dead. He has his good moments. I mean, he keeps me on my toes all the time and that smug smile of his? I want to wipe it out and ughhhhh.”

“Mhm.”

“And seriously what kind of a guy talks about sex in such frivolous manner with a run-away bride he doesn’t even like that much?”

“Mhm?”

“And he knows about the crinkle! After two days! What the hell, Alex? I know under this happy-go-lucky mask he’s quite perceptive but it’s horrible! I need to watch my mouth all the time!”

“Mhm.”

“And God, I know I hurt him already more times I can count and his pretty face is not that pretty anymore… but still hot with a stubble… hmm, where was I? Right. Seriously, why he has to be  _ so _ ...  **so** ... SO, you know?”

“Mhm.”

“Firstly, he hugs me when we slept together-”

“MHM?!”

“Oh, it was not a big deal, we needed to share a bed and he protected his body - not like that, Alex! I almost broke his nose! - And the other day, he casually asks me what I would say about having sex with him! It was a stupid bet, nothing serious, but how should I answer?! Because my stupid crinkle… not that I was considering having IT with him, no way! I just… you know… Uhm, Alex? Are you still there?”

On the other side of the country, Alex Danvers opened her mouth to chew her not-so-responsible-little-cousin’ ass. She wanted to scream that Kara should have put herself to a plane and come back home immediately. That traveling with a total stranger was highly dangerous and stupid.

But she didn’t. 

Alex didn’t understand a lot of Kara’s blabbering but her little cousin hasn’t sounded so  _ alive  _ for years. And she was having fun. As crazy at it seemed, it was all thanks to the poor dude. Who was probably not going to survive this trip but whatever, Alex was willing to sacrifice him for her cousin’s happiness.

“Yeah, I’m here, but need to go to work, Kara. Just call me more often, ok? And try to not kill the guy. For good.”

“Ok,” Kara sighed and ended the call.

And then the phone ringed. Kara picked it up, thinking Alex was calling back.

“Did you forget to tell me something?”

But all she heard was a loud gasp.

“Uhm, hello?”

“Who the fuck are you?!”

Kara blinked when an angry female voice pierced her ear.

_ Was that The Bitch? Damn!  _

“Who are you?! Where the hell is Mike?! I swear to-”

Kara ended the call. Immediately it rung again. She rejected it. It rung. Kara rejected it again.

“Mon usually turns off his phone when she calls,” Tammy said flatly.

“Good idea,” Kara mumbled and turned it off. “Thanks.”

“No problem, I don’t like her either,” the kid shrugged. ”She’s like the girls I met today.”

“Meaning?”

“Stupid attention whores,” Tammy said simply.

Kara blinked. She probably should have said something about not appropriate language, but… whatever.

“Hmm, why did the girls ran away from you?”

“The main queen bee was making fun of Mr. Fugly and the others were laughing. It annoyed me, so I said he was a real rabbit that died because of gamma radiation. They believed me and ran away,” Tammy said nonchalantly.

Kara blinked. “Well, that’s hmm, impressive.”

“I don’t think so, girls are just stupid like that.”

Kara bit her lip. Her inner feminist was crying and demanding to change the mind of this little, lost girl but, ugh, Tammy was not entirely wrong.

“In my elementary school there was a very popular girl who liked to invite her friends for sleepovers. I was not very liked but there was that one time she invited me and I was beyond happy. But she did it only to make fun of me.”

Tammy tipped her head, “So, she was an attention whore too.”

“Well, yes,” Kara cringed a little, praying Mike was not going to hear about it. “But, then I ate something that made me sick and I threw up into her fishbowl.”

The little girl blinked watching her with big, gray eyes.

“I swear, it was an accident and I didn’t mean to… too much. But her favorite golden fish died and I was the first girl that was kicked out from her sleepovers,” Kara blushed a little.

“I knew I liked you,” Tammy said finally and then focused again on swinging her legs.

Kara, for the first time in few hours, smiled a little. 

“Michael Gand?”

She jumped to her feet when an old doctor entered the waiting room and looked around.

_ Michael? Her Michael? Wait, his last name was Gand? Why it sounded familiar? _

“Here! I mean, I’m not Michael, obviously-” she approached him and stopped dead in her tracks, because there was a problem. 

“And your relation to Mr Gand is-?” the doctor asked kindly.

_ Shit. Shit! Shit shit shit shit!   _ There was no relation. She was a stranger! A stranger that poisoned him! She was not supposed to even be there!

Kara was standing in front of the guy, with mouth wide open, looking dumbly at the doctor who was starting to smile a little suspiciously.

But when adults fail, little kids need to save the day.

Tammy approached Kara and took her hand.

“Mommy?” she said and looked at the doctor with big eyes, “Is daddy going to be ok?”

Kara glanced at her, with her mouth still opened. Thank God, the doctor melted under Tammy’s puppy dogs eyes and didn’t pay attention to Kara and her dumb mouth that refused to close.

“Don’t worry honey, your dad is ok,” he ruffled Tammy’s hair. “His reaction to allergen is a little unusual, but it’s nothing life-threatening. We administered the medicine and he is fully awake. We’re going to keep him for observation, but tomorrow we should release him. You can see him now, he’s in room  69.”

Kara managed to squeak thanks and robotically move to the elevator’s direction.

She was too old for this shit. She wanted to cry. She wanted to wrap herself in a blanket and never get up. 

But no, she was going to face a guy she almost killed and confess her sins. Poor Mike was going to scream when he saw her and run for his life. No doubt.

And then, with Tammy still clutching to her hand, she stopped in front of the room 69. The door opened and blushing and giggling, a young and cute nurse passed them.

Kara gritted her teeth when a hot wave of  _ annoyance  _ washed all over her. She took a deep calming breath and entered the room.

He was lying on a bed, with a dumb smile on his face and totally tousled hair. Were his cheeks a little red and his hospital gown a little rumpled?

No, no, no. It was none of her business and it didn’t matter what he  _ did  _ or  _ did not  _ (but probably  _ DID _ ) do with the nurse, she was the cause of this all, so no, she was not getting angry at this poor guy who-

And then he opened his mouth.

“Hey, that’s my assassin!” Mike cried cheerfully. 

You know what? Scratch it. She was going to murder him with cold blood. 

But then he looked at Tammy and the smile disappeared from his face in a second. He blinked few times rapidly, like he realized something.

“Oh God, Bug I’m so sorry,” he said and stood up from the bed and outstretched his arms.

Without a word, Tammy approached him and hugged his middle. 

Watching the man and the little girl hugging and Mike whispering something to Tammy’s hair, caressing her back gently, Kara felt like an invader. Like she was witnessing something extremely personal. Like she shouldn’t have been there. 

After few minutes that felt like millennials, Mike raised his head:

“You know what? I hate hospitals,” he said and removed PVC from his arm.

“What the hell are you doing?!” Kara squeaked.

“Uhm, operation Hospital Break,” he let go of Tammy, approached a bedsider locker and took out his clothes.

“What the hell you think-” Kara cried when he started to strip from his hospital gown. She yelped, grasped Tammy and turned on, but not fast enough - she saw a glimpse of his very naked ass, flashing through the gap of the damned hospital gown. 

Why the hell didn’t the damned gowns cover people properly?! And now the view of his ass was printed in her brain and was going to haunt her forever! 

_ Goddamnit! _

“You can turn, I’m modest,” he said after few moments.

“What the hell were you thinking?!” she turned and yelled at him. Again.

“Well, I’m high so I’m not thinking, Panda. And now shut up, I need to think about a plan,” he looked dazedly around the room. 

“Did you just call me a panda?” Kara asked with angrily squeezed eyes.

“Of course not,” he said and opened the window and then started hard at the ground. “Hmm.”

“You are- you are not thinking about jumping from the window, right?” Kara laughed but quickly stopped, because he was staring at the ground with furrowed brows. “Right?”

“Hmm.”

“We are on the second floor!” she yelled panicking a little.

He was high, right? Because of the medicine they gave him.

“Relax,” Mike sighed regrettably and closed the window, “I’m not  _ that  _ high. Well, if you think about it, I’m on the second floor, so I am high, you get it? I am high high,” he laughed, a little maniacally but stopped abruptly. “Whatever. We need a plan B,” he said and approached her.

”What-what are you doing?” she asked hesitantly when he stopped really close to her and... took his jacket from her hand. 

_ Oh, right. His jacket. _

And then he got in on and… put his arm around her shoulder.

“Uhm?”

“Well, Panda, we are going to behave like undercover reporters and be bold,” he said cheerfully, leaning on her hard. “We are going to escape using the main entrance.”

“Yeah, ok,” she said absently and then his words reached her brain. “Wait, what?! We can’t! We are going to get caught! We-”

He sighed, put his hand on her mouth and leaned his head closer to hers. He stopped inches from her face and she could see his gray, gray eyes and big, big pupils.

_ Yep, he was definitely high. _

That didn’t change the fact her heart was doing funny things. Like skipping some beats. And, in her stomach, a bunch of butterflies were dancing macarena.

“Panda, do you want to know a secret?” he whispered conspiratorially.

Kara simply nodded.

“If you want to achieve things, you need to be shamelessly bold. Also-” his hot breath caressed her cheeks and maybe she was a little high too?

“Hannah-”

“Who?” Kara mumbled, with his hand still on her lips.

“The nurse, that took care of me some minutes ago? That cute redhead?”

_ Cute. Redhead. Huh? _

Oh, the sweet, sweet  _ annoyance  _ was back and crushed the butterflies in her stomach into a pulp. 

Kara brushed away his hand and pierced him with an angry look.

“Hannah said, she was ending her shift in few minutes, so no one is going to recognize me now,” Mike said happily, oblivious to Kara’s annoyance. “We are going to leave this place like a happy, normal family.”    


“This is crazy,” Kara growled. “They’re going to catch us and we’re going to have problems and- what?” she asked frustrated when he raised a brow.

“Not like it wasn’t obvious for some time, but you seriously don’t know how to have fun, huh?” he asked and before she yelled at him again, his eyes watered a little and he looked at her with an expression of a kicked puppy.

Kara gulped.

“Firstly, you almost killed me, now you don’t want to help me?” he asked, his lower lip trembling.

Kara blinked. He was playing her. Manipulating. Making her feel guilty… Ok, this whole mess was her fault, but-

He sniffed.

“For God’s sake, ok! Just stop looking at me like that!” she cried and put an arm on his waist, ignoring his childlike grin. “What I need to do?”

“Uhm, nothing? Just walk and leave talking to me, Panda,” he said, took a deep breath and opened the door.

“You called me panda again,” she growled.

“I’m high. And in pain. Because of you-”

“Ok, ok, I got that, it’s my fault.”

They marched out of the room, Tammy bouncing in front of them.

When they approached nurses station, Kara stiffened.

“Relax,” Mike hummed, “Goodnight, ladies,” he said cheerfully to the nurses, “Hope your shift is going to be peaceful. Oh, please don’t disturb Mike from the room 69. Poor guy, just had fallen asleep, right before we left. He had a exciting day, right Kara? It’s not like you often get poisoned by your girl.”

And then he chatted a little more with the nurses, like it was the most natural thing to do, while Kara was sweating and itching to kick his glorious ass.

Then he waved a goodbye and together they approached the elevator.

“I’m going to kill you,” Kara said through gritted teeth.   

“Unfriendly reminder that you almost did,” he hummed back.

And then they entered the elevator. And then they left it. And walked out of the hospital. And no one stopped them.

_ Freaking unbelievable!  _

“Uhm, what is Imra doing here?” Mike asked, confused when they stopped in front of his car.

“I drove it here?” Kara said and took out the keys from her jeans’ pocket.

“You drove  _ my  _ car?” he asked weakly and turned a little white.

“Yes,“ Kara furrowed her brows. ”Are you sure you are ok?”

“She almost caused three accidents,” Tammy stated a not very helpful fact.

Mike started hyperventilating. 

“Maybe-maybe we should back to the hospital,” Kara said hesitantly.

“I hate hospitals,” he said weakly, opened the door and sat on the passenger seat. 

Weirdly, he was not commenting on the way she was driving during the ride. 

Minus the little moans when she was taking turns, putting hand on his eyes every time she changed geer and looking at the roof meaningfully when she accelerated.

Maybe he was not talking, but these little things were pissing her off.

“Can you stop doing that?” she barked when he leaned his head on the door and closed his eyes.

“Doing what? Cringing while you murdering my beloved car? After almost successfully murdering me?” 

“If you stayed in hospital, I would not have to drive your beloved car,” she fired back.

“I hate hospitals,” he mumbled sleepily. “I’ve spent too much time in them when I was kid. And my brother died in hospital,” he said and fell asleep. 

Kara looked at him and then almost ran over a squirrel. So, she focused on driving, trying not to think about what he said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The “girls have vaginas and boys have penises” line was stolen from Kindergarten Cop.
> 
> Mon’s allergic reaction to raspberries and his treatment is a FICTION. Just saying.
> 
> And the most important thing - thank you all for support and don't worry, I'll finish it no matter what.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which: Kara sails through major embarrassment (again) and dreams about killing someone (again) - this time not accidentally; Mon-El talks about his past and flexibility and Tammy changes sides. And well, say hi to the ANGST.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to murder me with cold blood, just remember my dead body is not going to finish this story. But seriously, SORRY.  
> Eternal love for my beta yeratimelord_katniss, who edited this shit after few weeks full of exams. She is a queen <3

When Mon-El opened his eyes he saw nothing but darkness.

Did he finally meet the Grim Reaper and this was hell? No. His ass knew the seat he was sitting on and he caught the very familiar scent.

He was inside of Imra, probably the only place he could call home.

Mon-El yawned and stretched his back, his eyes slowly adjusting to the darkness.

“I broke your car.”

He slowly turned his head and looked at the the source of the sound. Then something clicked and he squinted when the light was turned on.

Mon-El cursed and look at Kara, who was squinting back at him.

And then her words hit him:

“You murdered Imra?” he said slowly. Maybe he should have been panicking now, but well, he was still a little high and didn’t really give a shit.

“I-I’m sorry,” she said in a small voice, looking very bashful.

“Sorry for what exactly?” he asked.

“What?” Panda blinked dumbly.

Mon-El made himself comfortable on his seat and crossed his arms.

“What  _ what _ ? You have a lot things to be sorry about.” He clicked his tongue and watched with satisfaction how her face turned red.

“Well, that’s, uhm, true,” she said slowly. “So, I’m sorry?” she cracked him a smile.

Mon-El was not amused.

“No, no, no, we should start from the beginning, you know, and do things chronically,” Kara opened her mouth to protest, “Unless you prefer doing it thematically?”

She closed her mouth and looked at him grimly.

“Are you going to point out my all wrongdoings every time I do something?” she asked sourly.

Mon-El raised his brows, “I don’t know, are you planning to murder me again?”

“No...” Panda said suspiciously slowly. 

“If you apologize for everything, I’ll forgive and forget,” he smiled.

“You’ll stop bringing it all back?” Kara sounded dubious.

“You have my word of honor,” he smiled. 

Kara mumbled something under her breath, what sounded like  _ “honor, what honor” _ but sighed and concluded that one big humiliation was better than the asshole constantly bringing back bad things.

So, she took a deep, calming breath.

“I’m sorry that I, kind of, entered your car without permission-”

“Is it some creepy journalism or something?” Mon-El cut her down. “Because I’m pretty sure what you meant is that you kidnapped me, my car, my niece and her stuffed rabbit.”

Kara bit the inside of her cheek. So, they were doing it the hard way.  _ Damn _ .

“Ok, I’m sorry for that. And then, erm-” she scratched her head. What was next?

“The pepper spray,” he reminded her kindly.

“Oh, yes… I’m sorry I threatened you and uhm...”

“And stole my shirt,” he helped her.

“Yes, that too...”

“And my shampoo.”

“Yes...” she said slowly and he got a nasty impression.  

“Did you steal something else from my bag?” he asked suspiciously.

“No?” she was crinkling.

“If it was toothbrush, you’re going to spend the rest of the ride in the trunk,” he said deadly serious.

“It was toothpaste...” she said biting her lower lip.

“And?” Mon-El sighed.

“And maybe your comb? Sorry?” she said bashfully, because she was not going to admit she borrowed his razor to… let’s not talk about it...

Mon-El, the smart guy he was, looked at her half-crinkle and decided he really didn’t want to know. “Right... Next, getting drunk in my car.”

“Sorry,” she sank in the seat.

“Forcing me to carry you and then making me sleep on the couch.”

“Why I should apologize for that?”

“My back still hurts,” he said and made a sad face.

“You call yourself a man?” she asked mockingly.

“Not really,” he smiled broadly and Kara felt she was reaching her limits.

“Sorry,” she looked grimly at a car ceiling.

“Next, that violent night?” Kara groaned and banged her head on the wheel. “That bruise on my cheek.”

“Sorry,” she mumbled.

“And assault on my balls.”

“What?!” she jerked her head and gaped at him, “I don’t believe you!” 

“Want to see the bruises or something?” he raised a brow and reached for a fly.

“NO! Sorry, ok?! Ugh! God!” she hid her super red face in her hands.

“Stealing my shirt.”

“I already apologized for that!”

“Different shirt,” he hummed happily.

“Sorry,” Panda growled.

“Almost breaking my nose and embarrassing me in front of a nice, old couple.”

“Sorry,” she said through gritted teeth.

“And probably traumatizing them for the rest of their lives. ”

Kara took a deep calming breath, “I’m sorry for that too.”

“And now the grand finale. Almost murdering me in cold blood.”

She raised her head and look at him sourly.

“Sorry,” she didn’t sound sorry.

“And then breaking my beloved, one and only, very expensive, amazing car.”

“Sorry,” this time she sounded sorry. Well, a  _ little _ .

“Oh well, you probably just ran out of fuel.” He smiled, patted her shoulder and got off the car.

Kara stared at the empty seat, listening to him, fumbling in the trunk, humming some melody.

_ No fuel? So she didn’t break the car? Did he just bait her to…? Yes, he did?! OH MY GOD, she was going to murder him, this time for good! _

“Are you coming or not?” he tapped the window suddenly and disappeared in the dark.

Kara took another deep, calming breath and counted to ten. 

And then to twenty. After that she was able to leave the car and follow the asshole without wanting to strangle him to death right and there.

She found him standing with hands in his pockets and a blanket tucked under his arm. He was staring at the sky.

“What the hell are you doing?”

Without a word, he gently took her chin and raised her head.

“Oh.”

There were no lamps or artificial lights, so the view of starry sky and full moon was truly mesmerizing. 

Kara didn’t know how long she stood there, with her mouth wide open, when Mike’s voice woke her from the awe.

“You waiting for an invitation or trying to catch a bat with your mouth?”

“Huh?” when she looked at him, he was already lying on a blanket, with hands under his head. “What are you doing?”

“Preparing for my werewolf transformation,” he said flatly but when she threw him annoyed look, he rolled his eyes. “I’m relaxing, duh. When was the last time when you saw the night sky like that?”

“We are in the middle of nowhere. There are no people here, so far not one car has passed us, we have no food or water, there is no signal, and there is probably a whole bunch of wild and hungry animals ready to eat us - and you’re  _ relaxing _ ?”

“What am I supposed to be doing?”

“Something!”

“Scream, wave my hands and run circles?” he proposed annoyed.

“No!”

“So?”

_ The asshole had a point. _

Kara made a frustrated growl, then sat with her legs crossed and angrily folded her arms. 

This guy. THIS guy. It hasn’t even been half a day since she almost  _ accidentally  _ killed him and here she was, fantasizing about doing it again. This time for real. Strangling. Yeah, strangling would be good. But firstly she would need to tie him. And then… and then…

_ And then we could do a lot of other things to him a, involving leather and a whip for example _ \- the little traitorous voice was back. 

The worst thing was she wasn’t even surprised. Or embarrassed by the idea of being involved with this asshole and BDSM. She was pretty sure that she would  _ enjoy  _ something like that (especially the part with using a whip). 

But then she thought about James and -

Kara chuckled a little hysterically. 

The idea of James and BDSM was, well, hilarious. James was a gentleman and always treated her like a princess. The love making was tender, slow, sweet and very, very…. contenting and she couldn’t ask for more. 

Right...

It was just... from time to time she fantasized about something rougher. Like, _real_ moving furniture. Something that would make her scream and wake up the neighbours. But even suggesting things like that to James felt awkward and simply wrong. He would think bad of her. Change his opinion about perfect little miss Danvers. Maybe even stop respecting her. Since oral sex wasn’t a part of their love life either... 

Panda was making funny faces, like she was debating inside of her head. Which was entertaining, but he felt completely ignored.

“So, how do you know there is no signal?”

“Hmm?” Panda blinked, “Oh, I erm- checked your phone. Sorry, I forgot to give it back,” she dug out his cellphone from a pocket and handled it to him.

_ Should she apologize for using his phone without his permission? Well, Tammy gave her a blessing… Kind of. _

Mon-El checked his phone. 

“Well, the bad news is we can’t call for help. The good news is - no calls from the bitch,” he murmured and pocketed his phone.

“You really don’t like her, huh?” Kara asked to distract herself, because the images of James wearing leather briefs refused to leave her brain.

Mon-El stared at the sky.

He didn’t like to talk about himself. Especially to strangers. Strangers that were journalists, because he had seriously had enough of them. They stuck to his family like leeches, documenting every drama  and he played the main role in a lot of them. Drunkenly crashing expensive cars, gaining quite a reputation of the biggest frat boy of the universe during his short rebellion, being disowned by his family - yep, the press loved him. 

He was not going to talk about his failed marriage with a journalist, even a sweet one like Panda. Even if talking to her seemed really easy and maybe, just maybe, he started to want to talk about himself with her.

“You don’t need to tell me about it if you don’t want to,” she surprised him, before he could answer with his typical manner aka joking and brushing everything away. “I’m just good in listening to people and well, I thought-I thought... ” she shrugged uncomfortably. “Sorry, it’s not my business.”

Mon-El felt guilty. 

He started it and here she was, uncomfortable and slightly upset because of his dumb ass. Ugh.

“Oh you know, I was just an irresponsible idiot who met this girl and- ”he sighed dreamily, “The sex was great and I just had to marry her.”

As expected Panda made a loud groan and threw him an annoyed look. Bingo.

“Hey, you don’t meet a girl that knows yoga  _ and  _ all kamasutra positions every day, right?”

She hid her face in hands mumbling something under her breath.

“But well, our relationship was doomed since the beginning,” he sighed sadly and waited for Panda to fail for the bait.

She raised her head and squeezed eyes at him. 

“I’m going to regret it, but why?”

“I couldn’t reach her unrealistic expectations,” he said seriously.

“What? Not flexible enough?”

Mon-El gasped dramatically and put a hand on his chest. “How did you know? Here we were, having the best sex of our lives, trying the bridge position, you know it? No?”

“NO!”

“The guy makes a bridge, while the woman straddles him. She can then move up and down by pushing off the floor with her feet-”

“I didn’t ask for a description!!!”

“And we were in the middle and I felt a crack in my back, seriously it probably drowned out her moans-”

“Oh my God!”

“I know, right? It was that loud!  And the pain? I thought I broke something and I jerked suddenly and she fell off me… and off the bed. Seriously, one second she was right there and the other nope, I just saw her legs, swinging hilariously in the air-”

“Mike!”

“Hey, she screamed  _ Mike  _ too! And her chihuahua almost got a heart attack and started yapping, running circles and peed on her favorite carpet and yep, that was the nail in our marriage’s coffin,” he ended, and seriously looked at Panda who was watching him with her jaw wide open.

And then she erupted into laughter, fell on her back and started rolling from one side to another, clutching her stomach. 

Her laugh was so infectious that he simply had to join her.

They laughed loudly for few minutes, scaring the shit out of two coyotes, a bunch of birds peacefully sleeping in the bushes, a few snakes and a horde of field mice.

Kara stopped laughing like a barbarian when she got a hiccup. Mon-El stopped when his stomach couldn’t take it anymore. So, they just laid there in a comfortable silence interrupted only by her hiccups, side by side, staring at the starry sky.

She didn’t say a word about his obviously made up marriage story and didn’t ask for more. And he was grateful.

On the other hand, he realized, a little surprised, that he seriously wanted to talk.

Maybe it was because she was so easy to read, or how expressive she was or how she seemed to be really concerned about everything he said, even if it was the dumbest shit you could have imagined. And well, the only time he talked about his failed marriage was when he and Stefan had a drinking guy night and they tried to drown their sorrows, failed relationships and man pain in alcohol - the fact Bonnie had to take home their pathetic asses but never raised hell or complained about it said a lot.

So, maybe it was a time to talk about it again? She didn’t know he was a Gand after all. And they were strangers, their paths weren’t going to cross again after reaching National City, so it couldn’t harm anyone. 

And well, maybe she was already asleep because the hiccups stopped.

“I really loved her, you know?” he said softly after few more minutes. “I met her on one of my mother’s boring charity galas. I was having a meaningless conversation about Shakespeare with some rich pricks and then she said he was an asshole with an ego bigger than the Statue of Liberty and well, we argued and… she took my breath away. She was so beautiful and amazing and I felt I could be just  _ me  _ with her. She was from an old, wealthy family, running her own successful fashion business, so hey, at least she wasn’t after my money, right? And she was totally out of my league. Damn, if you heard what a freaking idiot I had been making of myself in front of her,” Mon-El chuckled. 

“But surprisingly a few months later, bam!, I was married to the girl of my dreams, the sex was great, I know, I know, you probably didn’t want to hear that, but it’s true. And well, she was travelling a lot, so we’d see each other for few days in a month, and you can imagine how the sparks were flying... and clothes,too.“ Mon-El smiled a little. 

”But then she stopped travelling and hmm, things were getting pretty annoying. We’ve spent more time together and well, she was not that interesting… or smart. And very hmm, snippy. Like ok, I know I have zero fashion sense, but whipping my ass because my socks didn’t match my  _ underwear _ ? Come on! And her music taste, God, sometimes I wished I was deaf. And her diets, I get she’s vegetarian, but do I look like a rabbit, eating lettuce every freaking day? And well, there were many other idiotic things that made me stay at work more and more and guess what? I hated my work. And then… “ he hesitated. 

“And then I, uhm, quit. And my parents disowned me and boy, the argument with my wife after that was epic. She was screaming so loudly someone called police. And, funny story, did you know what I’ve learnt? That our meeting at the gala was not an accident, but her and my mommy’s shenanigans. She very proudly screamed it right in my face, followed by some not very imaginative insults, including the lack of sexual abilities and how generally speaking I was a fucking loser. Well, I married her after all, right?“ he chuckled again.

”Was it surprising  that after controlling my life for last few years my dear mother chose my bride? Nope. The bitch was an heir to a family owning some super big weapon company, so … Right, moving forward, I stormed out from our flat after that fight to drown my stupid ass in alcohol and when I came back, guess what? The locks were changed. Long story short my dear wife and her lawyer sucked basically almost everything from me. But mercifully she gave me back my clothes and some other shit. Too bad she didn’t return my vinyl Led Zeppelin collection. Why the fuck did she take it when she hates the band?” he sighed, frustrated.

Damn, his throat and eyes were dry. Was that because of the hot night air? But he needed to say the last thing to end the story.

“I thought I was never going to see her again, but...” he gulped. What was wrong with his throat? “But Jake… my brother, died. And there she was, all sweet and back with her bullshit. Probably thinking my mother was going to un-disown me or something,” he grinned stupidly. “Guess what? My mother hates me so much that she would probably rather adopt a donkey and make it her hier.”

He laughed, because he thought it was funny as hell. And he was proud of himself of how calm and collected he sounded.

What he didn’t realize was that during his little speech he didn’t sound collected or calm. 

He sounded depressed.

After a few minutes of silence, while Mon-El was just staring at the sky and convincing himself that this whole story was freaking hilarious, Kara wordlessly moved closer and hesitantly put a head on his shoulder, draped an arm around his torso. 

She wondered if he noticed how hard and loud his heart was pounding. (He didn’t).

Mon-El forgot how to breathe when the scent of, well,  _ his  _ shampoo and her hair attacked his nostrils. The heat of her body was spreading all over his and he felt his muscles slowly relaxing. (Wait, why was he so stiff in the first place?). 

_ So, she wasn’t asleep after all, and has heard the whole story, huh? Damn. _

And then, like she was listening to his thoughts, she snored rather loudly.  And very unconvincingly. 

Mon-El grinned a little and slowly put an arm over her shoulders, lightly caressing her side. He hoped she understood it was a silent thank you. (She did).

After few more minutes her breathing became more regular and slow and he knew she fell asleep, this time for real. 

Looking at the starry sky, enjoying her presence, he felt a big weight was lifted from his shoulders for the first time in a long, long time. Maybe… maybe unleashing feelings was not that bad?

Suddenly he heard the door of the car was opened and Tammy appeared. He was sure she was going to plaster herself to him… but instead she laid down at Kara’s side and stuck to her back. 

_ Well, damn. _

 

*

 

_ Mon-El stopped at the chapel’s door and hesitated. The place was already crowded with silent people. He avoided looking at the center and the… the coffin.  _

_ Instead he searched the faces. He recognized a lot of his family’s friends and his parents’ business partners, his grandad was standing on the back and there… there was his mother.  _

_ With perfect hair and makeup, wearing a black dress and pearls, she looked like a perfect porcelain doll. _

_ For the probably first time in his entire life, he felt sorry for her.  _

_ After all, she lost the only person she truly and unconditionally loved.  _

_ And then she raised her head and pierced him with cold, hateful look and he knew exactly what she was thinking. _

_ He bit his bottom lip and looked at the floor, ashamed. He fucking hated how she still affected him and how she could make him weak with just a simple look. _

_ Mon-El sighed and braced himself to enter the chapel. _

_ But before he could take a step, he felt something tugging at his pants. _

_ He looked down and saw Tammy clutching his leg, her white fist squeezing the black material. When she looked at him with her big, teary eyes, her breathing fast and shallow, he realized she didn’t want to be there as much as he. _

_ “Oh, fuck it,” he muttered, gathered her into his arm and walked away from the chapel. _

_ Thirty minutes later they were sitting on a bench at the back of cemetery, watching people leaving the chapel and and heading to his family’s grave direction. Then the men carrying the coffin appeared and Mon-El averted his gaze. _

_ “Do you want to-?” he asked hesitantly, but Tammy just shook her head, her face hidden behind the veil of hair (he had no idea what to do with such long hair so he just… left it loose). _

_ “Yeah, me too,” he sighed, put his head on the back of the bench and stared at the cloudly sky. _

_ The silence between them was not comfortable, but not heavy either. _

_ “The last time I saw your dad, he took me to a hockey game,” he said for no reason, but he felt like he had to say something. “I haven’t seen him for months, because he was staying at his university and damn, he appeared out of nowhere in the middle of the week and dragged me to the game. I was so freaking happy I couldn’t shut up. I think I talked for the whole game, but he said nothing, he was just listening and I felt like the happiest idiot in the country.” He smiled to his memories, trying to not to think about what happened next. “The best day of my life.” _

_ Tammy didn’t say a thing. She just moved a little closer, so their limbs were slightly touching. _

_ After another thirty minutes, when all the people attending the funeral left, he grabbed her hand and lead her to the grave. She crouched in front of it, burying her face in her knees. _

_ He didn’t know what to do, so he just stood there, with hands in his pockets, staring into the distance.  _

_ He wanted to cry.  _

_ But he didn’t have the right to it.  _

_ Because the little girl didn’t shed a tear and because he was a liar and disgusting human being. _

_ The last time he saw Jake was not when his brother took him to the game.  _

_ The last time he saw Jake was years later, when his brother visited him at his work - it was a day before he quit. _

_ Mon-El was talking with a client by a phone when heard the door to his office open. When he raised his head, there he was, his brother, smiling hesitantly. _

_ He didn’t remember how he ended the call.  _

_ All he remembered was the wave of feelings crushing on him. The overwhelming happiness of seeing the most important person in his life.  _

_ His brother came back. He came back to him. _

_ But then the happiness was washed away by the anger slowly clouding his mind.  _

_ The years of abandonment. The years of his mother treating him as a puppet. The years of being abused. The years of being alone, feeling like utter, useless shit. _

_ All because of his brother. _

_ Before he ran away from his office without looking back, before Jake could say a word, before it had all gone to hell - Mon-El shouted how much he hated him.  _

_ And how he didn’t want to see him ever again.  _

_ And he didn’t.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PS: Yes, I borrowed Jake from Containment, made him Mon-El’s brother and then I killed him :))))))  
> PS2: The bridge position EXISTS. I checked on google.  
> PS3: I wish I could say I revealed the worst things from Mon-El’s past, but … *sweats*  
> PS4: The next chap should be funnier. I think? And well, this chap was supposed to be much longer, but I decided to cut it here and left the rest for the next. So, hey, that means I have the whole next chap planned and it should appear sooner than later!... Yes, don’t believe me. Especially because I promised a super duper angsty one shot for a friend and I’m working on it right now.   
> PS5: I’ve started writing this chap on April 27th, it says how fucking HARD it was to write it. And I’m still not satisfied. Boo.  
> PS6: The best part is, I finally figured out what kind of drama I’m going to throw at Kara and Mon-El, because it couldn’t be too nice and fluffy, right? RIGHT?! :D Yes, you are going to hate me. But I also know how this story is going to end and I think it’s quite cool. So don’t kill me before the last chap! ;D
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Mon-El behaves like a stereotypical male and makes a list, Kara behaves like a stereotypical female and enjoys the views, Tammy behaves like a stereotypical girl and saves the day, Mr Fugly doesn’t behave because he’s a stuffed toy and God facepalms a lot. And Cat gets a great idea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, yeah, I know I suck - SORRY. Just life is kicking my ass lately.  
> This chap is not edited - because my dear, wonderful, amazing beta is out of town. But it will be edited when she comes back.

_ Kara moaned when he sucked that very special spot, just below her ear. Then he travelled with his lips slowly to her neck and lower and lower, leaving a wet trail behind. He stopped on her chest for a minute… or maybe two, nibbling and licking her skin tenderly but it was more than enough to sent shivers right to her core. She bit her lower lip to sustain a groan, when his mouth moved again, his stubble lightly tickling her skin on her stomach, making her insides clench with anticipation.  _

_ She was so close, yet so far away. _

_ Then he moved his lips even lower turning to the right, blessing her hip with small bites and when she was sure he was going to finally kiss his way to the place where she needed him the most… he  moved to her thigh. _

_ Kara made a frustrated groan. _

_ She entwined her fingers with his hair and directed his head to the spot that yearned for his attention. She knew he smirked just before he opened his mouth to suck… _

“You’re moaning.”

*

“Huh?” Kara apburtly opened her eyes and looked at Mike who was hovering above her and, unfortunately, not lying between her legs.

_ Wait… Did she just? No? Yes? Totally yes? Sweet Jesus! _

“And drooling,” Mike tipped his head and looked at her with mischievous gleam in his eyes. “Moaning and drooling, so obviously you were dreaming about-”

_ God, he knew! He knew she was having a freaking sex dream about him! Did she say his name aloud while dreaming?! Noooo-  _

“Food.”

Kara blinked at him and then blinked again.

“Yeah, I was dreaming about… eating,” she said awkwardly and absently wiped drool from her cheek. At least she was not lying, so there was no crinkle between her brows. She hoped.

Mike raised a brow but said nothing, just grabbed her hand and pulled her up.

“Sorry, to inform you, but there’s nothing to eat.”

Thank God he turned, so he didn’t notice her rapidly reddening face, because in her honest opinion, there was something to eat - her.

Kara groaned and pinched the bridge of her nose. She needed to stop thinking about...  _ stuff _ .

“So what are we going to do?” She asked, hoping for some distraction.

Mike looked at her and winked, “Hiking.”

And all of her hopes went to hell.

*

“You’re not the  _ nature loving girl _ type, huh?” Mike asked after she tripped and fell to her knees for the fourth time in 15 minutes.

She slowly raised from the ground and glared at him, massaging her poor, throbbing knees. 

Mike informed her that no car had passed them after he woke up. There were no houses on sight. Kara didn’t remember when she drove past a town. The road ahead was disappearing in a scary looking wood.

It looked like they were in the middle of nowhere.

The only logical conclusion? Climbing the nearest hill for a small reconnaissance, to see how much they were screwed.

Kara was not amused. She didn’t like… outdoor activities, ok? She was a proud, big city girl. Cabs or public transport, flat pavements, secure parks with cut grass and trees - those were her things. This wild, untamed, scary nature full of insects and animals that were ready to consume her? No, thank you.

And she didn’t have proper shoes. And condition. And fly spray. And sun cream. She wanted to stay in the car.

Too bad she was outvoted. Again. 

“You focus too much on your feet. Relax a bit,” he said when she threw him another angry look, took a step- 

And tripped again. 

“Owww,” she moaned after falling to her knees. 

“Is kneeling your favorite position or something?” Mike sighed.

“Of course, I’m loving it,” she growled, when he took her hand and helped her up.

“Kinky,” Mike smirked, still holding her hand and tugging her behind him.

_Kinky?_ Kara blinked confused. _Why kneeling…_ _Wait. Uhm. Oh. OH_.

And she turned bright red. 

“You!-”

“Just focus on the view, not on your steps,” he rolled his eyes before she could have yelled at him. 

“What view, ass-” and then she forgot how to articulate.

Because they were climbing up, yes? And he was tugging her, behind him, yes? So her line of sight was focused now on his ass, yes?

_ Hell yes! _

For the next few minutes she was mesmerized by the view of his butt, perfectly hugged by tight black jeans and the spectacle of his shifting muscles.

The memories of her dream weren’t helping. Or maybe they were? Because they’ve reached the top without Kara tripping again. But drooled a little.

“We are screwed,” Tammy, who got there first and was waiting for them, said.

“Language,” Mike said absently looking around, still holding Kara’s hand. “But yeah, we are.”

And then finally Kara came back from La La Ass Land. 

There was nothing. A sea of grass, a river, woods, more grass, mountains on the horizon. No roads, no houses, no towns, no sounds of civilization, no nothing. 

Three human beings and a stuffed rabbit kept staring at the view in front of them. 

One was fantasizing about living in the wild, skipping school and taming wolves. One was not amused. One just noticed that the not amused one was still holding her hand and didn’t know what to do with the fact she was liking it (beside panicking inside of her head). And the stuffed rabbit didn’t give a fuck.

“Are we going to starve to death?” Tammy asked flatly.

“Nah, we can always eat Panda,” Mike finally released Kara’s hand and sat down.

She didn’t comment about how he called her Panda again (and eating  _ her _ ), because she was too occupied with missing the warmth of his hand. 

Suddenly, Tammy approached her and showed Mr Fugly into her arms.

“Watch him,” the little girl said simply, hopped away and started to collect some small, yellow flowers.

“Uhm,” Kara glanced awkwardly at the toy and then at Mike, who had a weird look on his face.

“Congrats, you became a watch-panda,” he said and then laid on his back and spread his limbs, like a starfish. “Are you going to stand there whole day?” he asked after few minutes, with eyes closed, clearly enjoying himself and the sun.

“We didn’t bring the blanket,” she said tugging Mr Fugly’s ears.

“And?”

“There are insects hiding in the grass.”

Mike opened his left eye and looked at her seriously, “I swear I’m going to kill every spider or tick that will dare to climb your body,” and he closed his eye again.

Kara blinked, feeling a very familiar and annoying hotness creeping rapidly from her neck to the face.

_ He was going to protect her from the insects? That was…. sweet. And… wait… did he say- _

“Ticks?!” she jumped a little. “They spread Lyme disease! I wrote an article about it! Oh my God!” She looked around, fearing to find an army of thirsty ticks, waiting to suck her blood.

She didn’t notice Mike opening his eyes, sighing tiredly and sitting up. 

What she noticed was his hand, closing on her wrist, pulling her to him. 

Kara landed not very gracefully in his lap with a yelp. When she turned her head to yell at him, their faces were inches apart.

She stared at him. He stared back. 

“Blanket,” Mike said after eternity, that was probably not even 5 seconds.

“Huh?”

“Pretend I’m your blanket,” he answered and laid back again, but this time he put hands under his head.

“Ok...” she said slowly, squeezing poor Mr Fugly like a lemon, trying not to think she was basically sitting on… let’s twist facts a little and say - on his  _ hips _ . 

And about how a mole on his throat suddenly looked very... kissable.

What she didn’t know, he was also trying not to think that she was sitting on his  _ hips  _ and her make-up free skin, graced by freckles, looked like something he would want to caress with his thumb. Or kiss.

Basically, both of them were trying not to think about the same damned thing and failing miserably.

Kara cleared her throat, “So, what are we going to do?” she asked to end the very disturbing trail of thoughts.

“No idea,” he answered seriously, silently blessing her for a distraction from the heat and weight of her body. 

For the next few minutes they were sitting in unexpected but comfortable silence, both deep in thoughts. 

Kara was trying to figure out how she had managed to make and idiot of herself in front of him countless of times and still didn’t die from embarrassment. Or how she didn’t really bother sitting on his…  _ hips _ . He was invading her personal space (or maybe, she was invading his?) and she really didn’t mind. She wasn’t uncomfortable, just slightly flustrated. 

It was so different compared to her earliest encounters with James, that were full of her, trying to look the best in front of him and failing miserably. The stuttering. Gods, she still felt bad about it. Or how she didn’t catch his cultural references fast enough and then feeling like an uneducated idiot. Or how she tried to like taking part in his favorite activities and had to pretend she enjoyed them (modern art and photography? Just  _ no _ ). Or how she tried to become friends with his family and “his gang” but couldn’t (she was pretty sure his mom and Lucy were not her fans for some reason). Or her cooking disasters...

Still, she was pretty sure James loved her and she loved James. The bond they shared was special. And she was pretty sure the things she was feeling for Mike were totally different. So, it was not love. Well, of course it was not love, she didn’t consider it as  _ love _ , not even for one second. People fell in love on the first sigh in movies, books and dumb fanfiction. Real life? Please.

So, it was not love. Then what? Not friendship, they have known each other only for few days. Also, he was an asshole who loved to tease her and keep her on her toes. 

On the other hand, there were so many sweet, little things he has done for her. The way he gave her his full attention, even if she was blabbering about the dumbest stuff. The way he seemed to remember everything she had said. The soft look he was giving Tammy, every time she talked to him. 

What to think about him - she had no idea. Especially after his yesterday’s monologue. But she still felt it was just a glimpse of his life and she wanted to learn more about him. She wanted to peel his layers like an onion. Metaphorically and physically from his clothes…

Kara blinked. 

Yeah, ok, so they were not friends and she didn’t even know if they could have become them, but for sure the guy was interesting. But maybe it was just her journalistic nature wanting to get to the core of his story? She didn’t know.

_ So, maybe it was lust _ , she thought and felt her neck becoming hot again and for sure the blazing sun was not the reason.

Well… She had to admit he was handsome. Ok, drop dead gorgeous. There, she admitted it. She had eyes ok? Maybe not the best sight but she had glasses now, thank you very much.

His eyes? It was cheesy as hell and as a journalist she felt ashamed of herself to describe them this way,  but they were like a sea under a stormy sky, hiding so much depth. She could have drown in them, if she had allowed herself (maybe she even wanted it). On the other hand, when he smiled, they were turning almost blue, sparks of mirth dancing in them and...  _ yeah _ . 

And there were dimples when he smiled. And the few days stubble, that made him look a little older? She could totally rub it. Ass? A freaking perfection. Chest? Hard as rock. Arms? Strong and protective. Height? Perfect. She could just tipped a little on her toes, put arms around his neck and…

Kara cleared her throat. 

Well, sexual attraction was there, there were no doubts. But it seemed that only on her side. Yes, he was teasing her but that’s it. It felt like he was treating her like... an annoying sister. He was not flirting, right? It didn’t feel like that. It was totally different with James or her few exes. 

And… the status of her relationship with James. Was running away from the wedding considered as a break up? Wait, her fiance probably still thought she was kidnapped, ugh. Also, did she want to end it like that? 

She was so confused and hoped that during this trip she would be able to figured out her feelings. 

Having sexual dreams and thinking of that damned mole on Mike’s throat were not helping. Not. At. All.

_ God, what a mess. _

Meanwhile, Mike was staring at the slowly passing clouds and thinking hard. He approached the problem like a man, succinctly.

**Topic: Panda.**

**Summary of the topic** : funny, pretty 20-something run away bride, with a very low alcohol tolerance and terrible sight. Amazing blonde hair, eyes like comets, beautiful smile, perfect height and body. Snoring. Sweet nature with some ( _ some? _ ) violent tendencies, easily to get embarrassed. A little weird but cute. Mommy, fiance and work issues. Not sure of herself, still not ready to live up to her full potential. 

**Main problem:** he was falling for her.

**Pros** : a) he was attracted to her, physically, sexually, intellectually and well, generally; b) he felt comfortable with her, like with no one else; c) she was a perfect listener and banting partner; d) Tammy liked her.

**Cons:** a) she probably thought he was an asshole, b) immune to his flirting (was he flirting or just teasing? he was not sure), c) clearly he was totally not her type (not like perfect  _ James _ ), d) he was not sure if he was ready for another relationship, no matter if it was an one-night stand (he doubted she was that type of a girl) or a long term relationship; e) this whole thing was probably going to end after reaching National City; f) Tammy liked her.

**Side problem** : Tammy. 

He needed to take care of her and putting the kid into a middle of some romantic drama was for sure not a good idea, especially because she had lost the most important person in her life just few months ago. And Panda was probably going to leave their messy life shortly and he couldn’t blame her. Starting anything and making Tammy getting used to Kara was… immature and irresponsible and he HAD to stop being like that. For Tammy’s sake.

On the other hand… The kid needed a woman in her life. Someone mature, motherly, whole-hearted. Someone who would help her well, to be a girl. Because for sure he didn’t count. 

The realization that he was going to be a father subtitute still didn’t hit him fully, too many unexpected things have happened (and probably he was still in a shock), but just thinking about it was scaring him to death. 

This was one of the reasons why he decided to drive by a car to National City. It was easier to focus on the road, listen to music, stop only to eat or sightsee some weird places and stay in the motels for the nights - instead of talking about this whole  _ situation _ . And there were so many issues they needed to solve.

Did it make him a coward who was driving away from his problems? Probably. Still, he didn’t want to change it for now. The pain was too fresh and he was not ready.

Meeting Panda was a blessing, another amazing distraction from his and Tammy’s problems. A very nice, pretty, funny and entertaining distraction. 

A distraction he didn’t mind kissing, for example. What made this whole situation worse.

**Conclusion** : a mess.

**Solution** : he had no fucking idea.

**Prediction** : a bigger mess.

Thank God that God finally took a pity on both idiots and decided to play a matchmaker.

With a load buzz, a bee approached Kara (who was so lost in her thoughts that she didn’t notice) and sat on her nose.

Kara stopped breathing, squinted her eyes and looked at the… the… little monster that was happily resting on her nose.

The unfamiliar sounds that came out from Panda (something between the noise made by boiling water in a kettle and a drowning horse) made Mon-El glancing at her.

He would have laughed, if she hadn’t looked inches from getting a heart attack.

“Don’t move,” he slowly sat up. “And stop hyperventilating, the vibes and sounds may piss it off,” Mon-El said calmly when the bee quivered its wings. 

“Just… take… it…. off,” Kara whispered with panic in her voice, because the bee turned over and now was facing her and looking at her with big, scary eyes.

“Aww, I think it likes you,” Mon-El said, trying to lighten the mood.

“Mike,” she growled weakly, part of her knowing it was his way of trying to distract her (she was thankful), part of her getting piss off (even if she knew it was a distraction).

“Maybe this bee is a he and is looking for a girlfriend,” Mon-El said cheerfully and slowly drew his hand closer to Panda’s nose.

“Not. Funny,” Kara growled, the annoyance slowly winning with the panic.

“Have you seen The Bee movie?” he asked and put a finger on her nose, near the bee.

“No. And shut up,” Kara held her breath when the bee turned to his finger and slowly climbed it. 

Mon-El drew back his hand, “It’s pretty funny and I’m sure you would hate it,” he grinned at Kara and then blew gently at the bee on his finger. The insect spread wings and flew away.

“I can give you recap if-”

He didn’t finish, because she put her face into the crook of his neck and sighed loudly.

Mon-El stared into the distance trying not to think about how her hair still smelled like his shampoo. 

After few breaths he put an arm on her shoulder and rubbed it.

“Hey, it’s ok,” he said. “You was not his… or her type of a girl, obviously. So, no perfect relationship with a cute bee,” he chuckled when she hit his chest with a fist.

“I don’t want to be in a perfect relationship,” Kara said, thinking about James, and sniffed Mike’s skin. Guys should not have smelled that good.

And then she slowly opened her eyes.

_ Did she just subconsciously say she didn’t want to be with James? _

Mon-El blinked. _ Did she just say she didn’t want to be in a relationship? _

God in heaven frowned.

Kara raised her head from his shoulder and looked into his eyes. It was so easily to drown in them, forget about responsibilities and reality and just…  _ be her _ . Has she ever felt like that with James? No, not really. With him she always felt she needed to be perfect, to satisfy his needs and achieve his approval.

With Mike it was a beautiful disaster. And maybe disasters were not that bad?

But of course he had to screw it.

“No relationships, huh?” He asked, trying not to feel disappointed. Well, she ran away from her own wedding, it was not surprising she was not ready for something new, right.  _ Right _ .

Kara blinked again. 

“I mean, I am in a relationship. With James and  it’s amazing and he is a nice guy,” she started not really knowing what to say, but she felt she had to say something. ”And he’s every girls’ dream and-”

Mon-El raised a brow after hearing “James”, “perfect” and “every girls’ dream”.

“-and most people love relationships like that, I think?”

“Yeah,” Mon-El said slowly.

_ Was she trying to… hint something? _

“But then you meet some people that allow you to be imperfect and realize that… uhm-”

Mon-El blinked.  _ She was talking about him, right?  _

God in heaven frowned deeper.

“And that’s good! You need things like that in your life, it makes you… complete, you know. Even if you embarrass yourself or- or make ar say things you regret.”

_ She was saying in a nice Panda’s way, that because of him she was showing the worst sides of her character, right? _

“Yeah...”

God in heaven was not amused.

“Me and James are perfect. And you and me… uhm...” she stuttered, trying to articulate the obvious thing.

_ She was totally friendzoning him and trying to tell him she and James were a pair made in heaven. _

And then Mon-El concluded the one and only logical thing. Logical for male’s brain, of course:

_ He made her realize how her relationship with James was amazing and how she regretted running away from him. _

“Yeah, I understand. Thanks for hmm, clearing things for me,” he forced his face muscles to make a smile and tried not to show how much it pained him.

_ She was too kind and didn’t know how to say he should have fucked off. _

Kara smiled back. He got it, so now maybe they could-

“I’m sure you and James are going to fix things, when you return to National City,” he said and encouragingly slapped her shoulder.

“What?” Kara blinked.

“You and James are pair made in heaven?” Mon-El blinked back.

God in mentioned heaven facepalmed. Hard.

“There is a house,” Tammy appeared suddenly from nowhere at their side with a flower coronet at her head and pointed something behind their backs.

“Hmm?” Mon-El looked at the kid weirdly. And then got up and finally let go of Panda, who was watching him with furrowed brows, like he said something confusing.

But then he turned and looked at the view behind them. 

There was Imra, there was the road and the scary looking wood (that was not that big or scary) and there, not even a mile away from his car, right behind the forest, there was a big farm.

_ Oh. _

*

Few hours later they were sitting in the car, stuck in the traffic jam. Tammy was sleeping on the back sit, while Mon-El was nervously tapping the steering wheel.

The atmosphere was… weird, if you asked him. Maybe even a little frosty and he had no idea why.

He noticed that something was off when they’ve reached the farm and nice old couple invited them in and treated with delicious homemade food.

Panda was frowning at her plate all the time, moving pieces of carrot with her fork. She didn’t talk at all, answering only with monosyllables and didn’t even get embarrassed when the old lady called them “a lovely family”.

When he thought about it, she wasn’t talking since their conversation on the hill. And she didn’t trip one single time when they climbed down. 

The old man gave them a ride, helped tank up and gave direction to a highway. 15 minutes later they were stuck in the jam and Panda was still silent, with her head turned, staring through the window like she wanted to burn holes in the glass.

For the first time his poor man’s brain figured out the correct thing and Mon-El realized she was angry at him (not annoyed, not frustrated but angry as hell _ for the first time _ ) and he had no idea why. 

Telling the truth, it was creeping him out. It was creeping him so much that he didn’t even dare to comment when she put her feet on the seat (at least she took her shoes off).

There was annoying noise in the radio and he didn’t put his music on (metal was not a good idea on that moment, he was pretty sure of it). The heavy silence was getting on his nerves and he blessed the sound of his ringing phone.

Oh, how stupid he was.

“DARLING!”

Mon-El silently cursed his luck when Hayley’s voice drilled into his skull, describing loudly how she missed him and what she had planned for their reuniting. He didn’t really listen, because he was occupied with repeating in his head how much he hated his life.

He didn’t notice when very slowly, Kara turned her head and pierced his phone with a very cold stare. He didn’t notice a frown, angrily looking crinkle and a small vein popping on her temple. 

Meanwhile, Kara was ready to explode. The annoyance and anger have been slowly gathering inside of her like a storm since their little conversation and now has reached the boiling point.

So, there was absolutely no flirtration on his side. These all teasings, banters, sweet little moves, nicknames, smiles, dimples on his cheeks, talks in the middle of the night and showing off his ass. It meant absolutely nothing to him. It was probably the way he behaved and acted around all females (remembering nurse  _ Hannah _ ? Exactly). She was nothing special. She was just another panda in the bamboo forest. 

And after she poured her heart to him? He basically  _ friendzoned  _ her. And she was  _ thrilled  _ to hear it.  _ Happy _ . And very  _ thankful _ .  Now she knew what to expect - absolutely nothing. And she was ok with that.  _ Yep  _ \- she thought, while gritting her jaw and clenching her fists.

And then the bitch called and declared rather loudly how she couldn’t wait to see  _ him _ . And how she missed  _ him _ . And what kind of lingerie she bought to impress  _ him _ .

And Kara, the first time in her entire life, lost it.

Mon-El was staring lifelessly at a car in front of him when Kara snached phone from his hand. He turned his head and opened his mouth to ask what the hell was going on, but when he looked at Panda’s face, he just froze.

“Hayley, hi,” she purred into the phone and he gulped. “This is Kara the journalist, Mike’s new girlfriend. We would be really appreciated if you stop calling him and interrupting our, well, sexy times,” she said lowly and Mon-El shivered. “If not, I’m pretty sure I can write a super negative article about your little fashion business or whatever you do, and public it in CatCo Magazine, yes,  _ that  _ CatCo Magazine, I’m sure Miss Grant will be thrilled, she loves destroying people’s reputation. We don’t want it, right?” there was no answer on the other side, just heavy breathing. “Right. Also, Mike asks for his Led Zeppelin’s vinyl collection, I hope it will be returned to him, before we reach National City. Bye, Hayley,” she ended the call and returned the phone with a smile to still speechless Mon-El.

He just grabbed it without a word, looking at her like he has never seen her before.

“The cars moved,” she said sweetly and turned to the window.

She was beaming in a very scary way.

Mon-El just pocketed his phone and changed the gears. 

His still frozen brain refused to analyze what the fuck has just happened.

*

“And you’re sure it was Kira?”

Cat Grant got off from elevator, took coffee from Eve who was waiting for her, and headed to her office.

“Of course I am,” Sally Lance’s voice was annoyingly too cheerful for this damned morning hour. “I talked with people in the bar, few of them took pics of the couple and posted on the official facebook account. And I found her wedding bouquet in the phone booth. I also checked the monitoring and caught their car’s plate. Guess whose car is it.”

Cat Grant said nothing, just put her purse on her desk and waited.

“The infamous Michael Gand’s, tadah! By the way, I think you don’t pay me enough, seriously. Do you know how complicated it was to follow them and gather this data?”

Cat rolled her eyes, maybe Sally Lance was the best investigator in the city or even in the country, but for sure she was paid more than enough.

“Just send me the pictures, Sally.”

“It’s Sara. Sara! How many times I have to-”

Cat ended the call and waited for the pic. When she finally got it, she looked skeptically at the photo of a guy with a girl wearing a big hat, dangling from his shoulder. 

Cat Grant knew her CatCo kids, better than they knew themselves. That’s why she immediately recognize the girl. Yes, it was Kira. Who apparently was not kidnapped, but willingly left her wedding and was hanging with one and only Michael Gand. 

Who, on a side note, had a really nice ass.

Some people said that Cat Grant didn’t have a heart. It was not true. 

She had one and she had a special, hidden place in it for people she cared for. And she cared for her CatCo kids. She cared for Jimmy, who should have realized already that he was not in love with Kira, but with her perfect mask. She cared for Winslow, who should have stopped crushing on Siobhan and started things with Eve. And she cared for Kira, who had such amazing potential, that was suppressed by her need to please everyone. 

But the problem was, Cat Grant cared for her CatCo kids, but she cared for her CatCo Magazine more. 

She dialed a number.

“Alexandra, we need to talk,” she quipped to the phone, when the poor Kira’s cousin answered it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any ideas what Cat is going to do? ;D  
> Once again, sorry for super late update. Hope you liked it. Love you guys :)


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Kara’s ass is unexpectedly kicked by destiny, Mon-El’s cringes a lot and Tammy reunites with her beloved role model.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You all already know I am a HORRIBLE updater, right???  
> But yeah, sorry, if you want to kill me, please - on Mondays.  
> Big hugs for my beloved beta reader, yeratimelord_katniss, who, kind of, hates me right now :D  
> ENJOY!

 

Surprisingly, the rest of of the ride was not too weird or awkward. 

After the call, Panda’s mood shifted from gloomy to smug-slash-cheery and Mon-El decided to keep not thinking about the reason of the sudden change. Tammy was humming to herself and quietly counting the animals on the fields they passed, and Mon-El focused on driving (more like being stuck in the traffic jam), while Kara was reading some book she’d taken out from her monstrous purse.

From the way she was sinking in the car seat, with her feet still on it (the courage to ask her to take it off didn’t come back), her blushing cheeks and the cover of the book (a half naked muscular guy with long hair ruffled by the wind) he concluded it was  _ that  _ type of a story.

Kara giggled suddenly and hid her face in the book, her toes curling on the seat. Mon-El blinked when he heard another weird sound. Did his ears just deceive him or… did she purr? He glanced at Panda and noticed her red ears were glowing almost like Rudolph the reindeer’s nose.

_ So, she got to that part of the book,  _ he thought, and that was confirmed when she made another unidentified and low noise.

Panda, plus erotic book, plus the soft sounds she was generating, plus his dirty mind, right after he was basically friendzoned? 

Bad combination.

He praised the Lord when he noticed a gas station. While he tanked, the ladies went to the toilet, chatting happily about something (he hoped not about  _ that  _ book). 

When Panda and Tammy finally exited the toilet, he’d already cleaned the windshield, the wing mirrors, refilled the windshield washer fluid, scraped off three dead mosquitoes from Imra’s perfect body and now was just leaning on his car, with arms crossed on his chest and watching the clouds slowly passing by. 

When he finally noticed them, he couldn’t fight a smile. 

They stopped not so far from him, because Panda was telling something, waving her hands and making funny faces, while Tammy was listening to her intensely, with her head slightly tilted. Suddenly, Kara laughed so hard, she bowed and hugged her stomach. Tammy waited patiently for her to calm down a little and then grabbed her hand and started slowly dragging her into his direction.

Mon-El smiled. Maybe… maybe it all didn’t need to end after reaching National City? They could still be buddies, right? James didn’t sound like a teritorial kind of guy who had problems with his  _ potential wife  _ being friends with other males. He hoped.

His phone rang.

Knowing better now, he checked the ID, but the number was not familiar. Hoping it was not The Bitch, he took the call.

“Yes?”

“Give me Kara, now!” the female, angry voice didn’t belong to The Bitch.

“Oh, hello to you too,” he said sarcastically.

“Look mister, I don’t have fucking-”

Who the hell she did she think she was? He was friends with Bonnie Freaking Bennett, so he: a) was used to yelling, b) was not amused, c) could play this game too.

Mon-El rolled his eyes and ended the call, wondering how she got his number. Did Panda call her when he was in the hospital? Probably.

Not surprisingly, two seconds later his phone rang, so he took it and immediately ended the call when an angry scream reached his ears. The phone rang again, he rejected it. And again. And again. For about 20 seconds nothing happened and then she called back.

“Hello, how may I help you?” he said gleefully. 

“Hi, it’s Alex, Kara’s cousin,” the fake sweetness in her voice didn’t cover her murderous intentions and Mon-El was pretty sure she would have gladly murdered him if she could have. “Can you be so fucking kind and give me her for a second? I have something very urgent to tell her.”

“With pleasure,” he said happily and handed his phone over to Kara, who finally stopped in front of him, her cheeks red from the laughter. “It’s Alex.”

She blinked confused, but then smiled and took the phone.

“Alex, hi-”

And then Mon-El watched a fascinating Animal Planet documentary about Panda turning white in a second, with her mouth wide open and making some hyperventilating noises. 

“Ok,” she said after a minute, ended the call and stared into the void.

Mon-El shivered.

“Uhm, are you ok?” he asked hesitantly.

“I’m perfectly fine,” she said with a dead voice and the crinkle between her brows reminded him of the Mariana Trench. “Can I make a call?”

“Sure,” he said slowly and watched as she walked away, looked at the phone in her hand like it was a grenade, then paced back and forth for a minute, mumbled something under her breath, took few deep breaths, stared at the phone in her hand… dialed a number… put it to her ear… said something… and turned into a stone. 

Mon-El decided it was not his business and entered Imra, waiting for Kara to come back. When she did and returned his phone, even her palms were white.

“Did something happen?” he asked gently.

Kara looked at him with wide eyes. “Nothing you should be worry about,” she squealed. “It’s work related.”

“Do you want to talk ab-”

“ABSOLUTELY NOT!” she cried and then turned to the window, grasping her purse like a lifeline. 

“Okie dokie,” Mon-El said and started the car, hoping she would get better while riding.

Well, she didn’t and he missed the times when she was purring into the book. So, he did the only thing that could cheer her up - he stopped for dinner.

But it didn’t help either. 

Because she kept having the staring contest with their table. It didn’t change when the waitress brought them their coffees and juice for Tammy.

The silence was starting to creep him out.

“So, there is a nice motel, not so far from here and I want to stop there for a night,” he said to say something.

“Mhm,” Panda mumbled staring blankly at the table.

“There is a swimming pool and I thought we could use it with Bug.”

“Nice,” Kara said and Mon-El was pretty sure she didn’t hear a thing he said.

“You can join us. I would love to see you wearing a bikini,” he joked.

“Yeah,” she said flatly. 

“Or without it.”

“Mhm.”

Yep, she was definitely not listening. 

“Why do you want to see Kara naked?” Tammy suddenly asked, confused.

“It’s just a joke, Bug.”

“Mhm.”

Mon-El sighed and tapped his cup with a finger.

“Hey, your coffee is getting cold,” he said and kicked her foot under the table. Finally he got some reaction, because she grabbed her cup and then… a salt shaker and … salted her drink.

“Erm,” he said slowly when she lifted the cup to her lips. “Are you sure-”

She drank it with one big gulp and didn’t even flinch.

“Mhm.”

“Nevermind,” he sighed and described his plans for the next few days, even if it was confirmed she was not listening. 

He just couldn’t stand the silence.

*

She was not listening. She was not receiving what was happening around her. She didn’t really notice when Mike dragged her out from the car, steered to a motel room and pushed to a bed, when she laid on her side, staring blankly at the wall.

Kara didn’t notice when Tammy put Mr Fugly on her head, telling her to keep an eye on him, while her and Mike were going swimming. She didn’t notice when they returned and Mike paraded in front of her, with his wet swim trunks sticking to his glorious ass and hugging it tightly and absolutely deliciously. 

Why?

It was so weird how things could change in few days. You could screw up your entire personal and family life. You could do something reckless and absolutely out of character. You could met a cute guy, a not so sweet but amazing little girl and the ugliest stuffed rabbit you could imagine. You could re-think your life priorities..

And you know, you could also end your entire reporter career, one that hasn’t even fully started yet.

She didn’t notice how the evening turned into a night or when Mike gently laid on the bed beside her. She didn’t hear his sighs and quiet mumblings, when he didn’t know what to do. 

What brought her back to reality was his arms hugging her lightly from behind and his warm breath on her neck. 

But this time it didn’t comfort her. 

Long after he fell asleep, she was still staring at the wall, stiff, uncomfortable and totally miserable.

Alex told her that Miss Grant demanded a call. So she did it. And now she regretted it and would do anything to turn back time, because being oblivious was truly a blessing.

Miss Grant wanted her purse back. Untouched. What meant she was screwed. Which was the least of her problems.

The biggest problem was that Miss Grant also demanded a comprehensive article about Michael Gand and his family. Gands kept their dramas under the rug, so an article about their secrets was going to be a hit and Kara had a perfect opportunity to be a real reporter and write a piece that could make her famous. And could make people forget about her infamous wedding escape.

This, or she was going to get fired. 

And never get a job as a reporter, anywhere. Miss Grant was going to make sure of that.

Mike sighed in his sleep and buried his face in her neck.

Kara stiffened and closed her eyes.

She didn’t really have a choice, did she? 

Too bad she was pretty sure she didn’t want to write a thing.

*

On the next day Panda got a little better. She ate something for breakfast, found her way to the car and cringed when Mon-El turned his metal music on, which was a progress.

Still, she kept lifelessly staring through the window and he really missed her ramblings. She didn’t say a thing when he took a turn and the car started to jolt on a hollow road.

But well, she was going to be woken up from her zombie mood shortly. Shortly, and unfortunately for her, rather forcefully.

She looked at him, confused, when he stopped the car in front of a well maintained one-storey wooden house with big porch in the front. 

He and Tammy hopped off the car and he tapped the window on her side, when she didn’t move.

“Waiting for an invitation?” he askwd cheekily and followed Tammy, who was already bouncing on the porch.

Kara slowly exited the car and looked around. That… definitely didn’t look like a motel. Chickens were running everywhere, she heard cows mooing, she saw a tractor, vegetable garden and a field of corn behind the house. 

_ Where the hell were they? _ \- she thought totally confused when she climbed the stairs and watched Mike, who was knocking on the door.

He sighed when nothing happened and knocked louder.

Kara blinked when she heard something like a bear growl, loud sounds of quickly approaching steps and a yell that came from the inside:

“I swear to my Lord and Savior, if it’s about your goddamned cow, Danny, I’m going to shoot you!”

The door was opened with a bang and Kara hugged Mike’s arm tightly and hid behind him, staring terrified at a big, bulky old guy with beard and long hair tied in a ponytail. It was not helping that his steel gray eyes were throwing daggers and he was holding a freaking shotgun.

And then the man squinted his eyes at Mike and his face turned from furious to annoyed in a second.

“You again,” he rolled his eyes and leaned his gun against the wall. 

“Problems with the neighbours?” Mike asked unfazed.

“Shut your mouth, kid,” the guy growled and Kara got a shock of her life, when he approached Tammy, who instead of running for her dear life, outstretched her arms and grinned when he lifted her up and hugged. 

And then she giggled when the old man rubbed his beard against her cheek.

Kara was staring at them with shock, when the old guy turned to her, with Tammy hugging him like koala bear, and sized her up with furrowed brows.

“Who the hell are you?” he asked in a low voice.

“Uhm-”

“Whatever, do you know how to milk a cow?”

Kara blinked, “Well, no-”

“Make a fire?”

“Erm-”

“Behead a chicken?”

“What? NO!”

“Jesus, another useless bimbo,” the old guy rolled his eyes and entered his house. “Boy, your taste in women is incredibly disappointing.”

Kara watched him with opened mouth, still clinging to Mike’s arm.

“I think he likes you,” he said flatly.

“Likes me? Have you completely lost your mind?! Who is he?” she squeaked.

“Well, he shut the door in my ex-wife’s face, 5 seconds after he’d met her, so yeah, I’m positive he at least doesn’t mind you,” Mike grinned. “He’s my grandad.”

And Kara forgot how to breath. “What?” she asked faintly.

“I told you yesterday, remember?” she threw him completely blank stare. “Right. We are going to stay here for few days.”

“Are you kidding me?!” she hissed into his face, realizing that the color of his eyes matched his grandad’s.

“No? Tammy needs to spend some time with her great grandad, I need some break and you, well… I heard fresh air is good for your complexion.”

“We can’t stay here! I don’t agree to this!” 

“You did yesterday.”

“I didn’t!”

“I asked, you said nothing, so I decided with Tammy that it was a silent agreement.”

“It doesn’t work like that! Also-”

“Also you can give me my arm back, because it’s starting to get numb,” Kara blinked and looked at his arm that, yes, was hugged by her tightly. 

She let go of him immediately and turned bright red. “Uhm, but still-”

“Come on, it’s going to be fun. Please?” he made puppy eyes, PUPPY EYES!, and a swarm of butterflies danced a kankana in her stomach. 

“What are you? Ten?” she growled annoyed.

“Five,” he smiled when she sighed tiredly. “And hey, it will be good for you. Maybe you need a break too. To… not to think about anything,” he smiled at her, a little hopefully, and she got a very nasty impression that she would do -- maybe not everything, but a lot -- when he was looking like that at her. 

“It’s not a good idea,” she mumbled in resignation and tugged at the sleeves of her sweater.

“It’s a great idea. We will feed the chickens,” he winked and laughed when she groaned. “Come on, let’s introduce you to the granny.”

“Wait, he has a wife?” Mike raised a brow. “Obviously,” she grimaced. Great, another scary person to meet. What kind of woman married this grizzly bear? Godzilla?

“It’s a little complicated,” Mike rubbed his neck and entered the house. “Just try to not freak out too much.”

“Huh?”

“You will see. And hey, Panda?” he threw her a look above his shoulder. “If you need to talk, I’m all ears.” He smiled a little shyly and disappeared in the house.

Kara groaned loudly and hid her face in her hands. 

It was going to be a disaster. She just knew it. She was in the freaking family house, of the freaking Gands, with a clear order from her boss to dig into their secrets. This was either called karma or the irony of life. Or both.

She was going to do it or bye, bye her career, dreams and ambitions she has worked so hard for the last few years. Hello eternal shame, Miss Grant’s disapproval and endless unemployment. Her mother was going to die from laughter, because, like always, she was right since the beginning. Kara simply sucked and needed guidance all the time. Didn’t know what to do with her life. Kara Danvers being a living human disaster - a fact confirmed.

Kara groaned. She should have just picked up her purse and run away. Left before it was too late. 

_ It is already too late _ \- a tiny voice in her head said, but she shooed it away. 

Kara took a calming breath and slowly entered the house. 

She was going to spend the evening here, being tortured by scary people, trying not to think that it probably was the last time she was seeing the asshole and Tammy, and in the morning she was asking Mike to take her to a bus stop or train station, because she needed to come back home immediately. Yeah. And then she was going to make up some good excuse for Miss Grant that could save her ass from being fired. And explain things to James. And her mother...

And throwing a self-loathing party with ice-cream, wine, pizza, potstickers and sappy music. 

Easy peasy.

Right...?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm writing the next chap already and *spoiler alert!* it's going to be funny and fluffy. And I think we are near the end, guys. So keep your fingers crossed.  
> Thanks for reading :)


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which: Kara has some interesting encounters with the (almost) wild creatures and makes a decision, Mon-El worries about his wardrobe, Tammy shows some unexpected skills, the grandfather gets political. There is the granny. Also, someone’s hiding in the bushes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy!  
> Hugs and unicorns for my beta <3

Mike’s grandma was a sweet looking, beautiful woman, with amazing green eyes, wavy brown hair and soft smile. 

That was normal. 

What wasn’t normal, was the fact she was hanging on a wall. Right above the fireplace.

Because she was a big ass portrait.

Which, ok, would have been normal, if the grandfather hadn’t been talking to it.

Like it was a living person.

“And then Darling, he brought another useless big city chick, who I’m sure doesn’t even have proper rain boots and - ”

Kara was gawking at the old guy, making weird noises. 

“Ughmmm,” she mumbled and looked at Mike, who was totally unfazed, just staring at the old man.

“-probably has never seen a cow in her entire life-”

“Ughmmm,” Kara mumbled again and tugged Mike’s shirt, unable to formulate a sentence.

“- I swear to God, I have no idea where he finds them-”

“Hm?” Mike glanced at her. “Oh, this is granny Marta. Granny, this is Kara,” he said sarcastically and gestured at the portrait.

“-I guess he got the horrible taste in partners from the OTHER side of the family, I know he didn’t get it from ours-”

“Granny Marta died 18 years ago,” Mike continued flatly, “But some people still hear her voice.”

“Stop disrespecting your grandmother, boy!” His grandad turned over and pointed an accusing finger at Mike (Kara slowly hid behind his back) “We’ve taught you better! And now take your girl to the kitchen and feed her, before I go deaf from the sounds of her stomach grumbling!”

“She’s not my-”

“I’m not his-”

Grandfather rolled his eyes and growled like a grizzly, shutting them up. “I jeszcze kłamią w żywe oczy, kochanie,” he mumbled to the portrait. “Kitchen, now!”

Mike just sighed, grabbed Kara’s hand and took her out from the room.

“That language, what was it?” Kara asked about the only thing that she thought was safe to mention.

“Polish.”

“Your granddad is Polish?” she said shocked.

“No, he’s German,” Mike answered and entered the kitchen, where Tammy was already fishing out homemade cookies from a big jar. 

“But, he just...”

“Grandma was Polish,” Mike helped her shocked self sit on a chair near a big kitchen table. “But he’s learnt it for her. He wanted to pronounce her last name properly.” he furrowed his brows. “Which is probably the biggest sacrifice you can do for love.” 

“Huh?”

“Grandma’s last name was Bgenchshchqiuevich.”

Kara stared at him absolutely speechless, as that horrible combination of sounds hit her poor ears and destroyed her fragile sense of beauty.

“What?”

“Brzęczyszczykiewicz,” Mike repeated proudly, with sparks of mischief dancing in his eyes.

“That’s… that’s the most-” Kara started but was interrupted.

“-beautiful last name and I’m going to kick anyone who thinks differently out of this house.” The grandad entered the kitchen and threw her a threatening look.

Kara shut her mouth and just nodded rapidly.

The grandfather murmured something and opened a fridge. 

“I have salad and pate I cooked few days ago,” he said, took a bowl out from the fridge and sniffed it loudly. “I think it’s still edible.”

Kara’s stomach rumbled and she felt her mouth watering. Homemade pate? Good gracious!

“Is it made from Stalin?” Tammy, who sat on Kara’s side, asked suddenly.

Kara’s brain stopped working. And when she decided she misheard it.

“No, I ate Stalin last week, this is made from Donald,” grandad said flatly and put the bowl on the table. 

“Too bad. Donald had cute ears.” Tammy hummed and put a big portion of the pate on her plate. 

Kara stared at the girl who was happily eating… Donald. 

Her brain refused to unfroze.

“Donald was a rabbit I fed last time I was here,” Tammy informed her happily. “He was white, but the tips of his ears were almost orange.”

“That...makes…horrible... sense...” Kara said, panic slowly rising inside of her.

Suddenly, screaming and running away sounded like a very good idea.

“Grandpa likes to name animals destined to be eaten after people he hates,” Mike sat on her other side, munching a pickle and put a big portion of poor Donald on her plate. 

Kara looked at her plate and gulped. They were giving names to poor, cute, fluffy bunnies and then… then… eating them.  _ Monsters.  _ How could they?! First feeding and then… 

_ WHAT THE HELL HE IS DOING?!  _  she shrieked inside of her head, when Mike put delicious looking tomatoes on her plate, and a slice of fresh homemade bread that smelled incredible, few slices of cheese and ham and… and ... 

And her mouth watered again.

She slowly took a knife and spread some butter on her bread, ignoring the smug smile on Mike’s face.

Ok, so she was going to eat bread and tomatoes and maybe the cheese, but nothing else, goddamnit! And she was going to rethink future eating choices and consider turning to vegetarianism and…

She put the bread into her mouth and…

Ten minutes later she was cleaning her plate with the remains of the third slice of bread. She put it to her mouth and moaned a little. That was absolutely delicious. 

Screw the bunnies, screw vegetarianism!

She was so lost in her la la food land, that she didn’t notice how the grandfather was eyeing her up, with a little bit of approval in his eyes.

“Bug, it’s time for bed,” Mike said some minutes later, when the little girl yawned. 

“Can Kara come with me and finish the story?” she asked and rubbed her eyes. 

“Story?” Mike asked and raised a brow.

“Oh, I was telling her about my article featuring stupid criminals and I didn’t finish one about the guy who ate 12 slices of apple pie. That was, uhm-”

_ Before Alex called _ , she thought grimly, her mood rapidly souring.

“Eating 12 slices, huh? I think I get why you laughed so hard back then,” Mike said smugly.

Kara narrowed her eyes, forgetting about Alex. 

_ Did this asshole just imply she was a glutton or something? _

Before she could have snapped, Tammy grabbed her hand and started dragging behind her.

“That’s my dad’s old room,” the girl informed her when they ran into it. “He stayed here every vacation, when he was little like me. Oh, Mon-El too.” She showed Mr Fugly into Kara’s hands. “I need to change into pajamas and brush my teeth.” She rolled her eyes and disappeared into the bathroom.

“Uhm, right. I’ll just wait…here...” Kara said awkwardly and looked around, hugging the rabbit.

The room was filled with old toys of many kinds (from little cars, superhero figurines, stuffed animals, enormous collection of jigsaws, legos and... headless dolls…?) The shelves full of books and the weirdest things kids could have found outside (there was something that looked like a dried-up frog… uhm?). On the walls there were a few posters (some were old and blanched with cars and some new with marvel characters) and drawings. 

She approached a desk, noticing some framed pictures standing on it.

The biggest one was a picture of a little younger Tammy, who was smiling broadly, like Kara had never seen before. She was sitting in Mike’s lap.... 

_ Wait. _

Kara looked closely at the pic. His eyes were intensely blue, not stormy gray. His hair was much shorter than Mike’s and a stubble looked  almost like a beard. 

“Jake Gand,” she murmured and felt a pang of sadness, when it hit her hard this smiling man passed away just few months earlier.

Kara looked at the other pictures, skipping from one to another, searching for that one face she wanted to see and when she found it, she smiled.

He has had to be around 7 when the picture was taken, with adorably ruffled hair, chubby cheeks, a toothless grin and very similar sparks of mischief dancing in his eyes, looking up at his older brother. Both boys had arms thrown around the other (Jake, being taller, had to lean down a little), with matching smiles and dimples on their cheeks.

Kara ran her fingers over Mike’s forehead, like she wanted to brush his hair away.

He was looking at Jake with such unconditional love that her heart clenched painfully, remembering they’ve fallen apart.

_ What the hell happened to them? _

“It was taken when Mon-El broke his arm again.” Kara jumped a little when Tammy materialized at her side like a ghost.

“Oh.” Looking again, she noticed that Mike’s left arm was in a cast.

“He fell from the tree house in the woods. I can show it to you tomorrow, if you want,” the little girl said and hopped onto her bed. She then patted a spot beside her, inviting Kara to join her.

“Uhm, about that-” Kara said hesitantly and sat on the bed. She was supposed to leave in the morning…

“It’s super cool. My dad made it with greatpa for Mon-El.  What about that man who ate 12 slices of pie?” 

Kara blinked and looked at Tammy, who was watching her with big, gray eyes.

_ Ugh, maybe she could see the tree house and then leave? _

“Well, he fainted,” she finally said and told the rest of the story and talked about more idiots and criminal wannabes, and maybe Tammy didn’t laugh, but her lips twitched a little few times, and Kara decided it was a victory. 

When she ran out of stories about stupid people, she told Tammy a fairytale about a little girl and a very ugly magical rabbit with a golden heart, who fought crime together. They met a talking panda and…

Tammy fell asleep.

Kara watched her for a minute, a tornado of thoughts swirling in her head. 

Then she sighed, tucked the little girl in a blanket and kissed her brow lightly. She was so deep in her thoughts, she didn’t even notice when she left the room and started going downstairs. 

She came back to her senses when she heard Mike’s voice from the kitchen.

“I’m scared.”

Kara stopped dead in her tracks in the middle of the stairs, clutching her heart.

It was not about what he’s said. It was about how he’s sounded.

Like he was broken.

“Half of the time, I have no idea what I’m doing,” he said bitterly. “How I am supposed to take care of her when my life is a fucking mess? What the hell was Jake thinking, making me her legal guardian...”

There was a short pause and she heard the grandfather’s stealy voice. “You prefer your mother taking care of her?”

“Of course not!”

“A foster family?”

“No. I mean… I don’t know. Maybe it would be better for her…”

“Do you really think that Jake would have left her in your hands if he hadn’t been sure?”

“He didn’t have any better option, just his goddamned brother.”

“What about her mother?”

Mike sighed, “People from social service couldn’t find her. No one knows where she currently is.”

“And you think that a woman that abandoned her own child would be a good choice?”

“No,” Mike said after a longer pause. “But after what I have done, I don’t think I’m any better-”

Kara jumped a little, hearing a sound of a slap and Mike’s loud yelp.

“Oww! What was that for?!”

“Stop crying in your beer, for God’s sake, or I’ll kick you out and you will sleep with the chickens! Suck it up, you moron! The kid is ok, you are doing you best and that’s the most important thing. You can’t change the fact that you were an asshole, but at least don’t be one now.”

There was a long pause and Kara imagined both men staring at each other intensely.

“Did you really have to hit me with a swatter?” finally Mike asked sulkily.

“Would you have prefered a frypan?”

“I would’ve prefered nothing, I have had enough beatings lately.” Mike’s voice was dripping with sarcasm.

“Kid, I don’t want to talk about your relationship problems. Or sexual preferences.”

Mike growled and Kara decided it was a perfect moment to join the conversation.

“Uhm, Tammy fell asleep,” she said after entering the kitchen. “If it’s not a problem, I would like to go to bed too.”

“The bed in the guest room should be big enough. Just don’t be too loud, I want to get up early,” the grandfather said.

“We are not-!”

“That’s not-!”

“Sweet Jesus,” the grandfather rolled his eyes and left the kitchen. 

Kara heard he was saying something that sounded like a mix of Polish and German in the room with Marta’s portrait.

She peeked at Mike, who was pinching the bridge of his nose. But then he looked at Kara who immediately blushed.

“Uhm-” she tugged the sleeves of her sweater.

“Just… don’t mind him, he’s… not good at social interactions.” He sighed and gestured for Kara to follow him.

*

The bed was big but not as big as she expected, Kara thought while lying in it, as far on the right side as she could.

Their limbs were going to brush, it was going to be awkward after the old man suggested that - 

Kara blushed and hid face in her hands. 

The Universe hated her - that was official. She wanted A, it gave her Z. She wanted to escape early in the morning, but no, she needed to take a stroll to the woods to not disappoint the most amazing girl on this planet. She didn’t want to learn anything about the Gans family, yet she was hearing new stuff all the time. 

She just wanted to go to sleep and here Mike was leaving the bathroom, wearing only a t-shirt and boxers, drying his hair with a towel.

“I liked your story about the little girl and the panda,” he said and threw the towel at a chair, exposing his adorably ruffled hair.

The Universe hated her more.

“Huh?”

“I checked on you, when you didn’t return,” he said and laid on his side of the bed, tucked himself in a duvet. “I stopped near the door and listened for a while, it was really entertaining.” Mike yawned. 

“Oh, thanks I guess.” She blinked, surprised.

“Did you think up any other stories about them?” Mike turned his head and looked at her through half-closed lids. 

“Hmm? No, not really, I just thought it could be funny and then other ideas came while talking and I just… continued,” she furrowed her brows, because damn, when she was thinking about it, she could see the story progressing.

“I think you should,” Mike said sleepily and closed his eyes. “You’re amazing storyteller. Yep, absolutely beautiful.”

He fell asleep right after, leaving Kara shell-shocked.

Did he just say she was amazing storyteller? That was so nice. But more importantly… did he call her beautiful? Her? Beautiful?

Kara snorted into a pillow, her cheeks hot and an army of butterflies parading in her stomach. 

He called her beautiful. He was probably just falling asleep and didn’t even know what he was saying. On the other hand, maybe his subconscious said that. So… maybe he really thought she was, you know, beautiful?

She growled and leered at him with one eye. 

And then he fell asleep. Just like that. Like it wasn’t a big deal. Because it probably wasn’t. At least for him. She was sure he called Hannah the Nurse beautiful too. And tons of other women.

_ Asshole. Ugh _ .  _ Very cute asshole _ . He looked so peaceful and adorable, with his damp hair plastered to his forehead...

Unconsciously, Kara brushed his bangs away and let her fingers slowly and delicately caress his skin. His forehead, brow, and cheek, like she wanted to imprint the memory of his face into her fingers. 

She stopped her hand just near his lip. 

She should have been embarrassed. She should have been panicking inside of her head. She should have taken her hand away. She should have kicked herself and stopped being an idiot.

Yet, she couldn’t. 

It felt like someone has taken control over her body and she watched fascinated how her fingers brushed lightly against his lips. And then she put her hand on the side of his neck, feeling his steady pulse under her fingers.

She smiled softly, a wave of happiness and warmness spreading inside of her body. What it meant, she didn’t know. And it didn’t matter anyway.

Kara stopped smiling, her thumb caressing the mole on his throat.

This was the last time when she laid beside him. Tomorrow, she was going to leave, or more people, not only her, were going to get hurt. 

Because yes, her heart clenched painfully at the thought of leaving them behind. But she didn’t have a choice.

Was it really just a few days ago when she hopped into his car and threatened him with pepper spray? It felt like it was a lifetime ago.

Kara sighed and laid her hand on his chest. She could pretend everything was fine, just for a few more minutes. 

She fell asleep with the beat of his heart under her palm.

*

When Kara opened her eyes, she was alone in the bed. 

That was probably a good thing, because dear God, there were limits of her self-control, especially after another set of  _ that  _ kind of dreams. 

She really, really needed to get away from this man, Kara thought and wiped the dry trail of drool from her cheek.

She dressed, packed her stuff, took a deep breath and prepared herself for a goodbye speech.

Too bad she couldn’t deliver it to anyone, because the house was empty. Well, minus granny Marta, who was still hanging on the wall.

Kara passed her rather quickly and walked out of the house. 

She didn’t notice Mike or Tammy on the backyard, but there was mister scary grandfather.

“Uhm, sir? Do you know where Mike is?” she said to his back. “I need him to take me to the nearest bus station.”

“He’s on the field, repairing the fence, won’t be back till dinner,” he answered, turned over and showed a bucket into her hands. 

“Erm-”

“Vegetable garden is there,” he pointed it with his finger. ”Go and weed the patch with carrots.”

“Uhm, sir, I need to go and-” she shut her mouth when he threw her a stern look.

“Do you really think you could have eaten my food, slept in my bed and then just left without repayment, city girl?” he growled.

Kara gulped, simply shook her head and killed the urge to salute. And then marched without a word to the vegetable garden. 

_ What the hell?! _ she thought and kneeled near the carrots. She was suppose to leave not peel goddamned vegetables! She should have just given some money to the guy and taken a walk to the town, yeah!

Kara turned and looked at the grandfather, who was watching her like a hawk, with furrowed brows and hands on his hips.

She quickly turned over and focused on the patch before her.

Hmm, maybe weeding was not that bad an idea...

“Uhm, now what?” Kara helplessly asked no one and looked suspiciously at the plants. 

There were a lot of different kinds… which were the carrots? Whatever.

She grabbed the first one-

“That’s not weed,” Kara gasped when Tammy materialized behind her. “If you hurt vegetables, greatpa is going to skin you alive,” she said matter of factly.

“Ok...” Kara whispered faintly, because yep, she could imagine that.

“And those are parsleys, he said you have to weed carrots,” Tammy pointed a different path. “Wanna help?”

Saying that Kara was grateful was an understatement. 

When she learned which plants were carrots and watched how Tammy was pulling weeds out closely , she relaxed. At one point she even started telling a continuation of the story about the little girl and the panda.

When they’ve finally finished, Kara had to bashfully admit  that Tammy did a lot more than her, she approached the grandfather to ask if she could use the phone and call a cab, but no, a big fat nope. 

Before she could open her mouth, he showed a bowl into her hands and ordered her to feed the chickens. 

_ Great. _

*

He finished repairing the fence much earlier than he expected. Hopefully, Danny’s cow was not going to run into grandfather's cabbage field ever again. 

Mon-El stretched his arms and smile broadly, feeling the pain in his muscles and back.

Damn, he missed physical work. He didn’t mind sitting in the office and doing his job, but this? This was heaven. If he only could have just screwed his job and move to-

“Aww, you are so cute!”

He opened eyes when he heard familiar voice. 

“So fluffy! I brought you food.”

Did his amazing grandfather force her into doing some choirs? He was not surprised.

“Hush, hush! It will be enough for you all.”

Panda feeding the chickens? He needed to see it, he thought and followed the sounds of loud and excited clocking. 

“Hush, calm down, you look like the small dinosaurs from the second Jurassic Park movie... Uhm-”

Mon-El raised a brow, hearing a new note in her voice.

“The one that almost ate that little girl….Uhm, stay away, please….”

“What the hell are you doing?” he asked confused when he reached the henhouse and looked at Kara.

Panda was plastered to a wall, grasping the bowl with corn like it was a lifeline, with a horrified look in her eyes. She was surrounded by a flock of hungry chickens, looking at her with need and lust in their little eyes.

“Help!” she squeaked with panic in her voice when he saw him.

He just kept staring at her.

“Kara,” he said calmly. “Those are chickens, they don’t eat people.”

The chickens calmed down for a second and looked at him. Ok, that was creepy.

“How you can be so sure?” she yelped when the chickens looked at her hungirly again. 

“Because they are chickens?” he said slowly. “Come on, don’t be stupid.”

“They are not moving! I can’t pass them!” she stared at the flock in front of her with terrified eyes. 

Mon-El opened his mouth but said nothing. 

_ Boy, his back was going to kill him later. _

She yelped when he approached her, trying not to trample the dumb birds that were in his way, and scoped her into his arms.

“What- what are you doing?!”

“Saving your ass,” he sighed. “Just don’t get used to it.”

“They are following us.” She trembled, looking at the creepy animals.

“Maybe because you are holding their food?” he suggested kindly.

“Oh, right. What- ” she looked dumbly at the bowl in her arms.

Under normal circumstances, he would have teased her to death.

But she looked so adorably flustered, he didn’t have the heart to do it.

“Just throw it at them, seriously.”

So she did. Still in his arms, the thought of putting her down didn’t even cross his mind. He just kept glancing at her, the smudge of dirt on her cheek, bangs of lose hair escaping her two braids and the slowly returning smile that was lighting her striking blue eyes up.

“Oh, look at those two fight for the that one grain!” she laughed and unconsciously put her hands around his neck, the empty bowl forgotten in her lap. “This is so funny!”

And then she looked at him, their faces not so far apart and he realized that he really wanted to kiss her.

But that was not a good idea, and he was a reasonable man now, right?

“What?” he asked with a raised brow when she kept staring at him and biting her lip.

Her full, pink, cute and very kissable lips.

_ God damnit! _

“Nothing, I just have- I -,” 

He furrowed his brows a little. Why was she suddenly looking at him like that? With such longing and sadness?

“Hey, what’s wrong?” he asked softly, his heart thumping loudly for no reason. 

“I wanted to ask you to... I have a request,” she whispered hesitantly and Mon-El got a very bad feeling.

_ Say something you, idiot! _ his inner voice screamed suddenly inside of his head.

Mon-El groaned loudly and threw his head back, when she opened her mouth.

“Don’t tell me,” he sighed dramatically. “You want another one of my t-shirts, damn!” He looked at her sadly.

“Not only did I wake up today with you plastered to my chest, but hey, guess what? You were drooling all over my favorite Led Zeppelin t-shirt.” He stared at her with teary eyes. “Have some mercy on my poor wardrobe, huh? The number of my shirts are limited and no one wants to see me walking with a bare chest, right?”

Panda was staring at him with her jaw hanging low. She made a weird noise.

And then laughed loudly and a little hysterically.

“You are an idiot,” she said when she calmed down and put her forehead on his shoulder. “But I am too,” she whispered into his neck so quietly, he almost didn’t catch it.

*

Sarah Lance was not amused.

She lost the trail of her subjects and wasted a whole night cursing and trying to find them. When she finally found the dusty road that lead her to a farm and a familiar looking car that was parked on the backyard, she threw hands into the air in the gesture of victory.

4 hours of sitting in the bushes and six mosquito bites later, she was not as happy as before.

She took a picture of some old guy and the little girl running around the house, but she didn’t spot Gand or Danvers. 

_ What a waste of time _ , she thought and changed her location. Maybe she would have a better view from under that scrub over there.

She laid down, swept the branches away again and put the camera to her eye.

_ Nothing, dammit. _ Just a tractor, a vegetable garden, a henhouse… some chickens running around and…

Sarah gasped loudly, she couldn’t believe her own two eyes.

And started taking the pictures like crazy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it sounds like whoring for attention, but the fact the last chap got less comments that usual means:  
> a)shit is still good and you don't need to repeat yourselves or  
> b)it scuked.  
> If it scuked I need to know why, so criticize it folks, lol.
> 
> I made granny Polish because I am one and I can molest you with my beautiful language, without massacring it with google translator. And well "Brzęczyszczykiewicz" is a running joke in my country.  
> And hey! Wanna see something beautiful? CHRZĄSZCZ :D  
> Granpa is German because I know some shit also my beta has been learning it (she loves it!).
> 
> When Kara said Jurassic Park she meant the movie from 1997. 
> 
> Hope you liked it, thanks for reading :)


End file.
